What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bike?

Attire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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What do you call a well educated bike?

A Uni Cycle

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
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(Unintentional dad joke time. This was an actual conversation this evening between my wife and I as my middle schooler listened.) Me: Honey. I need a new bike helmet, but I don’t know what size. Would you measure my head for me?

Wife (holding the tape measure): Have you tried looking at Dick’s?

Middle schooler: Laughs uncontrollably

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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What do call a bike trail that shows no empathy.

A cycle path.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim_breeding
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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So the cops just came to my door, they said my dog was chasing someone on a bike, I told them "my dog doesn't even own a bike"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vicious5150
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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Had to get a kickstand for my bike.

It was two tired to stand on its own.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WTFisaMcNasty
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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I gave my bike a new name after it came back from the bell repair shop

It has a nice ring to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justin_unsilenced
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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A bear is riding a bike in the woods

when he passes a man who notices him and yells:

"What the heck?! Bears don't know how to ride bikes!

The bear replies: "oh right, i forgot!" and tips over.

My uncle used to tell me this joke as a kid and it took me a while to understand the tiny but valuable lesson behind it.

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πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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why does a bike need a kick stand?

because it's two-tired to stand on it's own

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emiliith
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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A local themed Grandad joke from the northeast of England: If you walk to Walker and bike to Byker, what do you do at Wallsend?

You fall off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwrk92
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was gonna put a third set on it, but the ole bike just couldn't do the job anymore.

Which is understandable. The bike was already retired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Only1Skrybe
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Why is riding a bike, jumping off, then riding a bike again good for the environment?

Because its recycling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I yelled β€œCOW” at a woman on a bike.

She flipped me off then hit the cow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Bought a stationary bike today

but I don't see myself getting anywhere with it.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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That is a bike I want!!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot

It got so bad I had to take his bike away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"

"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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On this day last year me wife got me a stationary bike for my birthday.

Well it’s a regular bike but it hasn’t moved in 364 days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SufficientVariety
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes.

That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/revsilverspine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Every morning after I get out of the house, a bike comes out of nowhere and runs me over.

It’s a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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How’s a bike different from a trike?

Not much. There’s really only one wheel difference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timeless_Leaf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Apu and his family went on a bike ride.

It was known as the Nahasapeema-peloton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Crashed my bike into a wall today...

That’s wheelie unfortunate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MK1A4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Why does Jesus ride a bike?

He’s on the highway to heaven!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtBoy54
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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I’ve been researching exercise bikes for over a month and just can’t pick one.

It turns out this whole time I’ve been bike-curious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stlredbird
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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What is it called when you change a bike's tires for the very last time?

Retired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickC-249
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Today I got complaints about my dog chasing people on a bike

I immediately took away his bike

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FarmingFriend
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.

For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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What happens to a recycling bin after you crash into it on your bike?

It becomes a decycling bin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattA2930
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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I crashed my bike into a lemon tree last week

It's left me feeling bitter and twisted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snakesinfur
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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I yelled β€œcow!” at a woman on a bike and she gave me the finger.

Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sourkid27
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.

He said "inflation".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZakTheRedditor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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I'd you ever need to get in touch with a bike company

Ask for the spokesman

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.

You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theGamingDad123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Just had the police tell my my dog attacked someone on a bike

I said it couldn't have been my dog, he doesn't own a bike

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoru
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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A policeman told me my dog is chasing people on a bike.

I told him my dog doesn't even have a bike.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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I bought a stationary bike...

But I don't see myself getting anywhere with it.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.

Wtf??? My dogs don't even own bikes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/subaz08
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?

A tyre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RocketButtMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Why can’t a bike stand on its own?

It’s two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilkeNL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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I made a Bike out of wood...

Now it wooden start .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoobRashik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot..

It got so bad I finally had to take his bike away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlanetMarsh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes.

My dogs don't even own bikes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Crashed my bike into a wall

It’s wheelie unfortunate that it’s broken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MK1A4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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My dog always used to chase people on a bike

It got so bad we had to take his bike away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brennik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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