There's only one thing girls want. It starts with a P and ends in an S.
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︎ Nov 14 2021
What starts with "p" and ends with "e" and has a millions letters?
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︎ Oct 24 2021
My son got detention for misbehaving in P.E. The P.E. teacher told him he had to write an essay in the form of a report about a cricket match and he couldnβt leave until heβd finished it.
Less than 5 minutes later my son handed the essay in to the bemused teacher, and left detention.
The essay simply said:
βrain stopped playβ
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︎ Nov 05 2021
Pterodactyl has a silent p
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︎ Oct 18 2021
H.P. Lovecraft walks into a barβ¦
.
The bartender immediately asks him, βWhy the long face?β
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︎ Oct 01 2021
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
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︎ Dec 11 2019
Never take the p out of a pirate.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
What do you call a tricky woman whose initials are P.B.?
Miss Lead!
..Y'know, because Lead is Pb on the periodic table..? All of my friends (okay fine, all one of my friends) just stared at me when I told him.. Thought you folks might appreciate it a little more...
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Iβm thinking of a word. Starts with P and doesnβt have an ending
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︎ Nov 21 2020
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z
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︎ Dec 25 2020
A L L C A P S
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︎ Dec 21 2018
Why did the Pteranadon have a P?
Because it drank water like everything else.
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︎ Jan 18 2021
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
How to defeat Agent P in a swordfight.
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︎ Feb 10 2020
I took the p out of a pirate yesterday
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︎ Apr 18 2020
How do you turn a T into P?
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Just listened to W.A.P...
It reminded me to bath my cat.
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︎ Aug 27 2020
How do you turn a T into a P?
Drink it.
Edit: Maybe βDrink the teaβ is clearer.
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︎ Nov 25 2017
**T H E R E I S N O E S C A P E**
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︎ Aug 31 2019
Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before?
/r/ShouldIbuythisgame/comβ¦
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︎ Mar 27 2020
h a n d s o a p
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︎ Apr 29 2019
A man walks into a doctors office. "What seems to be the problem'P" Asks the doc. um... well... I have five penises," replies the man. "Blimey!" Says the doctor "how do your trousers fit?"
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︎ Sep 11 2019
My C.P.A. always eats terrible food...
... but there's no accounting for taste.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
A pun-ny drawing :P
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︎ Jul 08 2019
Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
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︎ Feb 05 2017
Got the waitress at P.F. Chang's good a couple weeks ago.
I was out for a nice dinner at P.F. Chang's with a couple buddies to celebrate my birthday. I had decided to order the Shaking Beef, because it sounded delicious (and it was).
The waitress came to take our orders, got to me, and I asked for the Shaking Beef. When she asked how I wanted it, out of impulse, I replied "Shaking, not stirred".
Both of my buddies groaned and gave me shit for the rest of the night, but the waitress laughed, so it went okay. I was, and still am, proud.
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︎ Aug 23 2014
My Dadβs latest Christmas brunch joke: How do you catch a polar bear? You cut a hole in the ice and sprinkle some Pβs around.
When the polar bear comes up to take a P, you kick him in the hole.
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︎ Dec 25 2017
I took a p-shooter to a water fight...
They didn't know what hit 'em until I squirted them with it!
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︎ Mar 29 2017
Heroes are just a P away from herpes...
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︎ Apr 29 2017
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
Again, the clerk doesn't answer him.
The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
And the clerk just seems to ignore him.
Finally, the guy storms off in anger.
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?"
The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"
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︎ Nov 29 2016
5yo son: "I'm going to make a P for parking...I know how to make a P"
Me: I would hope so...otherwise you'd still need diapers!
Wife chucked, 5-year-old groaned.
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︎ Dec 06 2015
What are those bananas that start with a p?
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︎ Jan 26 2016
What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it
π︎ 31
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︎ Jan 09 2021
A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...
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︎ Dec 02 2020
How do you turn a T into a P
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︎ Oct 31 2020
How do you turn a T into a P?
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︎ Sep 17 2020
I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z
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︎ Dec 11 2019
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