Year Six Puns

They said I was the worst employee at the toy factory.

He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled.

A heart shaped bread. (she pronounced it "hot" with a heavy British accent). This is her Valentine day joke. I am a proud dad.

They both love to stall when you need to go somewhere.

Eggstinked.

I say nothing

Me: “Pandemic song? Beatles? Huh?”

Son: “You know... We All Live In a Yellow Quarantine...”

Me: “GAAAAAA!!!!”

I’ve never been more proud. The student has become the teacher.

Oh, and good luck getting that out of your head.

and that I have to pay more attention when I pick him up from school.

I was trying to cook an egg in the microwave because I’m extremely lazy, and it (unsurprisingly) exploded.

So she looks at the exploded egg, looks at me and then says: “ aha, it eggsploded ”

What do you call a cow that’s fallen asleep at a construction site?

A bulldozer.

How did the rose plant grow? It rose

His other good one after some thought..

How does a tree escape? It leaves

I‘m proud of his thinking

Funset!

My four year old fell down and hit her butt on something and started crying.

My six year old calls her over so she can “take a look.”

She says “Well I think you broke your butt. There’s a crack down the middle.”

Me: Listen to mom. That’s......sound advice.

We were leaving a pet shop that had the standard assortment of fish, lizards, birds, and hamsters and my daughter said she wanted a fish. We have two cats and I told her that might be a bad idea. I then added that the big problem with fish is that you can't cuddle a fish like you can with cats. She responded by saying "you can with a cuttlefish."

She probably watches too many nature shows.

To master debate.

But I eventually found them again.

Knock Knock. -Who's there? Interrupting Cow -Interrupting Co-- MOO!

We were at the table having breakfast this morning when my 6yo son climbed down and started leaving the kitchen.

6yo: "I'm going to the bathroom."

Me: "Oh no, please hold it until you make it to the toilet."

6yo laughs

Me: "HAHA! YOU LAUGHED AT A DAD JOKE!!"

6yo grumbles from the bathroom

"Baby girl, have you seen my pocket knife?"

"No. Have you looked in your pocket?"

Character on tv: "I'm scared!"

My daughter with a big grin waves at the tv and says "Hi, Scared!"

He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled

....so they named me the year's worst employee at the toy factory.

So they named me the year’s worst employee at the toy factory...

So they named me worst employee at the toy factory.