A list of puns related to "Y Pants"
The doctor asked, "Why do you have a steering wheel down your pants?"
The man said, "I dunno, but it's driving me nuts!"
Shirts? Yup. Pants? Yup. Sweatpants? Yup. Nikes? CHECK!
Edit: Grammar
I nearly puma pants.
Man, I puma pants
American dogs pants while British dogs trousers
Almost made me puma pants!
He’s in the pocket of big pants.
No you're not Gary. Put some pants on.
It held up a pair of pants.
Onomatopoeia who you ask?
Please open the door, onomatopoeia my pants!
He doesn't see the bartender behind the bar so figures he must be back in the stockroom. As the man walks across the floor he hears a quiet voice say....."nice pants!"
He looks around but sees no one, there are no other people in the bar. He shrugs it off and keeps moving towards the bar.
Then he hears....."your hair looks great!"
Again, he looks around but doesn't see anyone. A little freaked out, he takes a seat at the bar and hears....."I like your tie!"
At that moment, the bartender emerges from the back room and asks "howdy sir, what can I get you?"
The man replies "well, I'll have a whiskey, but I have to tell you the strangest thing has happened to me since I walked in. I keep hearing some voice that keeps saying nice things about me. I must really need that drink I guess."
The bartender smiles and says "ahh, don't worry about it, that happens sometimes, it's probably just the peanuts".
"The peanuts?" asked the man, even more confused.
"Yes, the peanuts" explains the bartender.....
"they're complimentary"
:)
https://preview.redd.it/294ds0yrw2h51.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59aecd04a9f1a84f21ea972df9bb31ca8d0bf046
Puma pants.
Pu...ma...pants.
Poo my pants.
He's panting like he'd just been for a run
Asks for a drink
Bartender asks what he was up to, why's he so out of breath?
Horse says "I was trying to get out of the Reins"
"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"
The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.
"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender reaches for some larger mugs, but as he places them next to the cups, it becomes obvious that even these will be too small for the pigs.
Seeing the man struggle to continue holding them, the bartender runs to the kitchen for help.
A cook emerges, holding several large measuring cups. "Sorry, I just used these to make a batch of cheese dip, but they're all yours!"
The man carefully plops each pig into its respective gooey yellow cup.
Arms exhausted, breathing heavily, he drops into a stool at the end of the bar, between his tiny friends and a beautiful girl.
He glances her way, gasping coyly. "Hey...I'm...Tom."
She smiles, having watched the whole ordeal. "Hi Tom, I'm Liz. And if you don't mind me asking..." she laughs, looking over his shoulder, "what was that all about?"
He glances back at the bar. "Yeah...sorry," he pants. "I wanted...to impress you, but...it turned out to be...a pretty cheesy...pig-cup line."
Once upon a time there was a pirate captain who was the most amazing best captain a crew could ever ask for. His crew loved him more than anything and would do absolutely anything for him.
One day as they were sailing, a crew member In the crows nest shouts, “one ship off the port side!” Immediately the captain yells at his crew, “Men! Bring me my red shirt!”
Slightly confused, the men hesitate for a second and then hurry off to bring the captain his red shirt. Amazingly they win the battle!
The men are so happy and thankful their captain brought them safely through the battle they don’t even care why the captain wanted his red shirt.
A few months of sailing some more, again the man in the crows nest yells, “Two ships off the port side!” Quickly the captain screams, “Men! Bring me my red shirt!” The crew doesn’t hesitate this time to get him his red shirt and what do you know? They win this battle too!!
The crew is astounded at their captains awesomeness!!! They honestly could not find anyone better. This time though the crew stops a moment and asks the captain, “Why do you always have us bring you your red shirt?”
The captain replies, “Well men, if I get stabbed the blood will blend into my red shirt and it will look like I’m not hurt so that you will all fight as hard as if I were still alive.”
The men can’t believe what they hear! How could they be so lucky as to have a captain so incredibly smart and courageous??!!
Two seconds later, “TWENTY SEVEN SHIPS OFF THE PORT SIDE!!!!!!!”
Calmly, with an even tone, the captain says, “Men, bring me my brown pants.”
Now he's got a crease in his pants.
The others are still wearing a t-shirt and pants!
Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.
I'm sorry for the cringe...
He's flying by the seat of his pants.
I must have bought the right clothes, even my tracksuit pants.
Each wears a collar and pants.
Bumblebee cold if you don’t put pants on...
So today I’m wearing pants to take her to school.
I said, “Thanks, but I think we call them pants, not an ass shirt.”
Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis after his girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep. Which is worse? having your girlfriend find out you're married explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your p***s Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring
I told her to looked them up and showed her on the internet .
I said "Ha!... Chimp pants, see?".
Man tells doctor not to be alarmed but he has 5 penises.
Doctor says “wow! How do your pants fit?”
Man: “Like a glove”
He said, "Software?"
I said, "In my pants."
A doctor sees the man choking and springs into action. He runs across the restaurant, pulls the man out of his chair, pulls the man's pants down, and licks his butt. The man coughs hard, and the food is dislodged from his throat.
Grateful, he turns to doctor and says, "Thank God you knew the Hind Lick Maneuver!"
...with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender spots him and looks quizzically at this man. He asks the pirate “What’s with the steering wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies “Arrr, it’s driving me nuts”.
Idk if this fits this sub, but I'm planning a Halloween costume and just need a punny name for it.
I'm going to wear timberland boots, camo cargo pants, an olive/brown/green/earth t-shirt, aviator sunglasses, and get a beer bandolier.
I need a solider/army/military + beer/alcohol/drinking pun to name the costume. Any suggestions?
Some might call me a monster, others a nomster
Edit: credit: u/Mr_PoodlePants. My b, forgot about this.
Yoga pants.
.. and my SO knocks on the door. She says, "Hey you need to hurry up, I've got a mountain cat situation out here."
Confused, I replied "What does that mean?"
She said "I'm a puma pants."
>!To hold their pants up!<
The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.
What do you call drugs in a saucepan? Pot.
What do you call drugs stored inside the back of your pants? Crack.
What do you call drugs stored in a car battery? Acid
What do you call drugs found between 2 slabs of concrete? Crack
What do you call drugs in a junked up or hoarded room? Meth
What is it called when you have all the drugs you could want? Ecstacy
What do you call someone using drugs in the top part of a house? A drug attic
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
“You rotten bastard," says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!”
A passing soldier notices this, walks over and rolls his pants across the car. Magically, the car unlocks. The woman is relieved but puzzled, asking him how he did it.
"That's easy. These are khakis."
almost made me puma pants
Almost made me puma pants
Because it held up a pair of pants!
His pants are open in the front, and there’s a steering wheel inside them. The bartender looks at him. “Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?” “Arrrrgh,” replies the pirate. “It’s drivin’ me nuts.”
He held up a pair of pants!
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