Which Witch is a Sandwich
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gingernuts13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witches wrist.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Boom223
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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My daughters joke on the way homeโ€ฆ.

Why do witches wear black?

So you canโ€™t tell which witch is which!!!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/imatyourwhim
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2021
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Why was the security guard at the haunted castle fired?

He never knew which witch to watch.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Keithninety
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2021
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Why did all the witches have to wear name tags at a party?

So they knew which witch was which.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/threedeenyc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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The most important question before choosing your future wife ...

Which is witch ?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/afarro
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Halloween pun

I know two women who are twins and look a lot like each other.
One is a scientist and the other performs dark magic.
I donโ€™t know which is witch...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CallMeMich
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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So there are three female wizards assigned to protect three Rolex time pieces. My only question?

Which witch would watch which watch?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JHPSwitzer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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So after seeing the doctor ...

I go to the check-out counter. The lady asks, "which doctor did you see?"

I said, "oh no, I didn't see a witch doctor, I saw Dr. Smith."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/slofty_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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Halloween Puns

Why couldnโ€™t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.


Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!


Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!


For Halloween Iโ€™m going to write โ€œLifeโ€ on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers


This Halloween, the only Candy Iโ€™m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues


โ€œHalloweenโ€ = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.


Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!


Iโ€™ll be your trick if youโ€™ll be my treat.


How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!


When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day


Whatโ€™s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!


What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood


What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us


What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A โ€œhollow-weenie!โ€


Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).


How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.



Iโ€™m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always doโ€ฆ by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, โ€œA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?โ€ The other monster replied, โ€œBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.


The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something youโ€™re not will lead to a sweet reward.


I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, itโ€™s Election night.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so Iโ€™m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.


What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!


What do Italianโ€™s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)


Why canโ€™t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.


What do goblins and ghosts drink when theyโ€™re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!


What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi


What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope itโ€™s Halloween!!


What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2017
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I think I pulled an Abbott and Costello on my drama teacher.

Earlier today, we were going through costume inventory for our next musical and my teacher was going through the wigs.

Him: "Okay, we have a sugar plum wig, a fairy godmother wig, a witch wig..."

Me: "Hey, Mr. Teacher, which wig?"

Him: "The witch wig."

Me: "That's what I'm asking."

One person groaned in the back,, and slowly, everyone got the joke and was groaning.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stefonio
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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I was grocery shopping with my Dad and Mom

We were in the checkout line and I asked

"Dad why is there a broom in the cart?" (As we already have one)

To which he replied

"Your mother has to get home somehow."

She just stood there staring at him, so I thought maybe she didn't get the joke. I explained "He's calling you a witch, Mom."

This made my father laugh even harder while my mom glared at me instead.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/usdaproved
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2014
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Doctor's office

So I go into the dr. office, tell the receptionist my name and say "I have an appointment with the doctor."

She says "Which doctor?"

I say "No, just a regular one..."

Get it? Witch Doctor...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/skinner70
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
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