I was so mad when Walmart ran out of figurines for the Nativity

Now I have to attend manger management

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to Walmart to get some toilet paper today

They were completely wiped out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Walmart’s onn brand of tv wall mounts.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XboxLiveGiant
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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There’s going to be a new Walmart in India

If that’s the case, then there’s gonna be a New Delhi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AWMINPUBG
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to bring a smashed boomerang back to Walmart yesterday.

Fantastic returns policy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I don’t wear a mask into Walmart

I wear a coughing filter

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RemoteLizard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
2 bananas shopping in Walmart; first banana says β€˜I dare you to shoplift that ham’

Second banana says β€˜no way, I’m not doing that!’ First banana says β€˜why? You yellow?’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Its getting that time of year when it's so cold....

....people are starting to wear 2 pairs of pyjamas to Walmart.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Looks like Walmart's beer inventory is tanking due to sales imgur.com/bOgcjnB
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainMorgansRum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I work at Walmart and found a bunch of zucchini in with the hamburger.

Talk about squashing some beef

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffUhl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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My dad gave me a Walmart gift card for my birthday

Then he said "Don't spend it all in one place."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoredLeo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My mom just told my sister she ran into the Walmart

I asked her if it hurt and then my dad who doesn't usually laugh at jokes like that laughed. I guess you could say I'm pretty cool😎

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kordidk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Walmart caught me stealing a shopping cart full of merchandise.

They told me to rollback the savings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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Walmart is opening dental offices in some of its stores.

There will be an express lane for people with less than 12 teeth.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I was playing Pokèmon Go in Walmart today. There was a lot of Pokèmon in store.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePrimeReason
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do lizards go to fix their fallen tails?

The retail shop

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxtailavenger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Walmart cashier say to the screaming customer?

β€œIt’s actually not a very civil way to communicate, yelling that is. I would quite appreciate you being more respectful for us to continue our interaction, thank you. Sir.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hisairnessag
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
This gas can at walmart
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Walrus_Wizard404
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I may be young but I still made the cashier at Walmart cringe with this one.

I bought a case of Natty lights. As she was scanning it she said, "wow this is really heavy" to which I responded "No, they're light. It even says so on the box." I was so proud of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 756
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darklord_Of_Bacon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2015
🚨︎ report
I went to Walmart the other day. It's name is very misleading.

There were no Walls for sale anywhere!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolmiser23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Walmart greeters and doormen have howdy duties. (Howdy Doody)

Yes, I'm old.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knitwitty66
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Was watching the news when they reported that a woman was targeted at Walmart.

Dad: I wonder who got Walmarted at Target.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbaasybaas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend was jerking off in the Walmart bathroom

He had a walnut

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BountyHunterGTA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Meanwhile at Walmart...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/junc-to-us
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
A dad and his son are staring at a Walmart bag that's stuck in a tree.

Dad: Hey son, look at that Walmart bag up there!

Son: I can see it! I wonder how it got there.

Dad: Do you know where it came from?

Son: No, do you?

Dad: Walmart.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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These Walmart rawhide bones...
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elleven_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
🚨︎ report
/r/funny didn't appreciate this ripped guy I saw at Walmart
πŸ‘︎ 397
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lcuz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2013
🚨︎ report
Bought my mother in law some potting soil at Walmart.

She asked how much it was. I said "Don't worry, it was dirt cheap."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayoulean
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
🚨︎ report
An older gentleman at Walmart asked if I knew anything about whether parsley farmers got their wages garnished.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LimeRikki
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Trampooline
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vencore3000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
"How much do pants at Walmart run?"

Asked by a co-worker who had torn his pants during his shift. I replied, "not much without legs in them." Then proceeded to get a high five from all the nearby fathers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cawvavino
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
🚨︎ report
The Walmart corporate basketball team has an awful point guard.

But they have a super center!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacktheBOSS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad every time we walk past the tennis isle at Walmart.

"Who's making all that racket?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merryklumklum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear the story about the angry man riding a Walmart kids bike?

It was a little huffy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweathesmallshit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
🚨︎ report
Walmart

So my Dad's coworker was on the way to work last week, when he ran over the neighbor's cat, severing its tail completely. He immediately drove the cat to Walmart, the world's biggest re-tailer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oatsandhoes13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
🚨︎ report
At walmart

My girlfriend and I were grabbing some food at Walmart when she accidentally bumped into this other mans kart and he turned around and while looking at where the karts colloided said with a blank face "I really hope you have insurance"

For some reason it was the funniest thing ever to me, guess I'm into dad jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucasjason
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
🚨︎ report
What would Walmart say if they bought out Target?

Target acquired.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crasken
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2015
🚨︎ report
So I saw Tide colorguard in a walmart the other day....

...while shopping with my friends...picked it up and asked them "Is...is this Tide a part of the military?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TornSilence0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2015
🚨︎ report
Just saw that Walmart commercial with Anthony Anderson and Melissa Joan Hart and wondered how many dads will wrap up frozen peas the Christmas.

"You said you wanted "Frozen" stuff!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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Gives son $10 Gift Card to Walmart

Dad: "Don't Spend it all at one place"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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