He's always been a pain in the ash
And inside would be Reese's pieces.
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
A pothead!
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
Me: What's a Grecian Urn?
Dad: Not much since the GFC
A Penny shaved is a Penny urned.
She definitely urned it
undertake a new career.
I guess he urned it.
>!A decoffinated cafe!<
Until my mom hid the urn from me.
He really urn-ed it.
I think I've urned it.
My boss told me I urned it.
I guess it’s true... a penny urned is a penny saved.
But you have to urn it.
You've gotta urn it!
Working in a crematorium, you can never urn a living.
My Step dad told me this one about 25 years ago (I was around 12?) and I've loved it, and dad jokes, ever since.....
A guy named Benny was walking down the beach when he found a magic lamp.
When he rubbed the lamp, a genie came out and said he got three wishes. However, he must agree to never shave again. If he did, he would become an urn.
Benny wished for riches, women and a VERY long life.
Years upon years had passed; and Benny's beard was so long it was difficult to manage. He decided that surely the genie who had granted his wishes so long ago had forgotten about him, and so he shaved his beard off.
POOF!!
He was an urn.
What's the moral of the story?
A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.
He really urned it.
But if you wanna get cremated, you've gotta urn it.
She urned it.
If you wanna come there, you gotta urn my friendship.
The lamp is then fastened by the sea, just so none of the townsfolk get into trouble. One day, an inquisitive young chap opens the lamp and the wizard starts wreaking havoc upon the town. All the scientists gather and decide to chemically dissolve the lamp. But all the chemicals they have fail to work. They try to burn it, melt it and what not but nothing works. Finally one scientist says “I know exactly what we should do. Pour excessive chemicals and try to dissolve it. I know we’ve tried it before but let’s give it another shot.” They bring in acids and other corrosives from the neighbouring cities and pour it on the lamp and it successfully dissolves and the wizard disappears. Everyone is amazed and asks the scientist “How did you know about the extra chemicals?” The bald, black scientist looks at them and says “Oh that’s easy. Moored urn problems require more darn solutions.”
Heres how the conversation went. Me: There was a Henway in the yard. Him: What the hecks a Henway? Me: about 4 lbs! Him: It by the Grecian urn? Me: What? What's a Grecian urn? Him: About $10 an hour.
The eye rolls were spectacular.
Was barely urning an un-living
Because she urned it
He urns it.
You'll have to urn it.
I think I really urned this job
They certainly urn'd it
I guess urnings must be up.
...until my mom hid the urn from me.
But if you wanna get cremated, you've gotta urn it.
You've gotta urn it.
