An uplifting movie about an escalator
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenderyetfirm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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My first time on an elevator was very uplifting

The second was a letdown

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoolSharkPete
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I asked my grandpa, β€œHow are you enjoying the new stair lift?”

Grandpa: I hate it. It’s driving me up the wall.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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The first time I used an elevator, it was kinda uplifting

Then it let me down

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Sometimes my experience on an elevator is very uplifting. Other times ...

I just feel let down.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/well_I_swan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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To the person who stole my antidepressants...

I hope you’re happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Canyouplzstop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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I’ve recently discovered I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! 🀩

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whoopass_voice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What an uplifting joke.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puffskeleton
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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uplifting content with lame goat pun lol
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πŸ‘€︎ u/memoryisnotRAM
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.

He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karma-Effect
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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During these dark times I figure people could use something uplifting.

This might work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the one about the bad pole vaulter

It never goes over very well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SalaMOnkaDo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I'm really really scared of elevators...

...so I take steps to avoid them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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I just received some uplifting news!

The builders have finished my staircase

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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What do you call an uplifting fog?

Optimist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZarcoMacro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
An old woman flew overseas for the first time.

She said it was an uplifting experience

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordoftheClouds00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Did read the book about the elevator?

It was a very uplifting story. (Courtesy of my 10 year old)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theclashwasright
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the weight lifting...

Is not my strong suit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkingnottoofast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I've always hated stair lifts..

They really drive me up the wall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmorris10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Was Just showing my dad my new living space. He asked β€œwhat’s upstairs?”

I Just responded with β€œdad, stairs don’t talk”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Gijsco_man
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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A post on Uplifting news about a Girl who Picked up a Pick-Up truck (link to article in comments)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2016
🚨︎ report
ba dum tss (sorry for the light mode)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotAKazoo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is returning to the office and thus has to go back to wearing work outfits. One of her complaints was that wearing a bra was such a drag...

I’ve always found them to be very uplifting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rscott1691
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend challenged me to a hang gliding race, and he got angry after I beat him.

What a soar loser.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The mechanic told me that he fixed the elevator

That was uplifting news

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrQuackalotOWO
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti gravity

I can't put it down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Get_Swazzed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time i used an elevator it was an uplifting experience

But the second time it let me down

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoman-177
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience.

The second time let me down

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience.

The second time let me down.

πŸ‘︎ 269
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArpitJain96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience

The second time let me down

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time I rode an elevator was an uplifting experience.

The second time let me down.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time I ever used an elevator was a real uplifting experience.

The second time was a big let down!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkDG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My first time in an elevator was a very uplifting experience

The second time let me down

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience

The second time let me down.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ottohelanen
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience...

The second time let me down πŸ™

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungryghost02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience.

The second time let me down.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/udrys
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
my first experience in an elevator was uplifting...

... the second one just let me down

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mellon_coliee
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I took my son on an elevator for the first time and he found it very uplifting.

The second time was, though, was a let down.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlhc55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience.

The second time let me down.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarmelMalone
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I like bird jokes

They are very uplifting

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winged-sunrise
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A new elevator was just put into my office building

Some would say that’s a STEP up

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skyfalling52
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of news does a helicopter read?

Uplifting ones.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oofsoof
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't stop thinking about rocket engines.

They are so uplifting.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report

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