Ugh too much sugar I'm drowning here!
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatincomingvirus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Wife after the gym: "Ugh I can't feel my arms"

reaches out and touches her arm "Oh that's ok, I'll feel them for you!"

Anyways I'm divorced now.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeachPeachMcgee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Ugh. My garage was broken into and someone stole my Limbo Stick.

Seriously now, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 210
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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My 6yo holds a slice of red pepper up to my face and breaks it towards me. Me: β€œUgh, what did you do that for. You got me all wet.”

β€œThat was pepper spray.”

Got me!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gorescittmore
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Friend: Ugh the concert I was attending this weekend got cancelled

Me: wow that’s disconcerting

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshPlaysUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, β€œUgh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

The woman storms off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, β€œThe driver just insulted me!” The man says, β€œYou go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Detroiter_1017
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Ugh this one hurts
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/j-h1236
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Do u think if a British person heard an American person go β€œugh I have a bloody nose” they would think β€œwe all have noses you know”

Credit goes to my friend who made the joke

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notBroseidon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
ugh, the button "C" of my keyboard just broke

Now this is a c-rious problem

(it happened for real, help)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aldo-Tron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
(to my wife this morning): Ugh, babe, think i have that Corona virus. Her (seriously): Oh my gosh, what do you mean?

Me: I had one too many Coronas last night and i'm not feeling that great.

Her:(rolls eyes and leaves the bedroom)

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guitarman61192
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Know what Thanos says when he finds a rotten fruit in his garden? My kids: Ugh.

"It is... Inedible"

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fubarfrank
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Man: Ugh, I’ve had really bad gas lately. Doctor: Don’t worry...

It will pass.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyDaddy89
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Ugh...It's my turn to clean the front entrance

Vacuuming sucks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/civicbro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Daughter: 'Ugh, have you just farted?'

Me: 'I certainly hope so. I'd hate to think I smelt like that normally'.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maester_Magus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Gay tho(ugh)ts

Sbeve bro

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cali-Bruh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Ugh
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HighCut67
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Ugh
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ur-gayy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Me: Do you want to hear a ghost joke? Wife: Ugh. Fine. Go ahead.

Me: That’s the spirit.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Ugh. Sausage puns.

They're the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Ugh dad, just out of the blue he sends me this. imgur.com/zv2rqTj
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolchris731
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
🚨︎ report
Ugh, I burnt my sauteed bok choy...

Now it's chard.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Friend: "Ugh, this stupid christian fur is blocking my video game!"

Me: "You mean the Cross-hair?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x3astu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
On a movie night, Her: Ugh, are we really going to watch Batman Forever?

Me: No, only for the next 2 hours.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Ugh, the fog's rolling back in again

I guess it mist me

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Ugh, I have a huge file to decompress. This is going to take forever.

Sigh unzips

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socrathustra
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deusolus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
"Ugh, I was late to work because my bike had a flat tire"

"Did that leave you feeling deflated?"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fnord123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Ugh... I bought some Velcro shoes today, but they were a total rip-off
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shurgery
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Ugh, dad.
πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiegoLikesYunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
🚨︎ report
A friend said "Ugh, I'm over this snow"

Better than under it!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Think_Alot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Ugh... My dad got me... helium joke.

My Dad: Where did you get the balloons?

Me: Grocery store unfortunately - the Dollar Store doesn't sell helium balloons anymore cause the price of helium keeps going up.

My Dad: Isn't that what it's supposed to do?

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoyGreen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2014
🚨︎ report
My wife: Ugh, my shoe keeps falling off!

Me: Cleary, something is afoot.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barelyonhere
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Wife: Ugh .... I hate getting headaches all the time!

Me: It's all in your head.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecaptainjs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Ugh I hate going to Wal-Mart enough, I never asked for this

"Hey, Dad I need to run out to the store. Would you like to come with?" "Yeah I could use some things" "Okay does 4:30 work?" "No but it's polishing its applications at least"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickify
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
🚨︎ report
Ugh. My dad just told me a joke he is all proud of. It's terrible. Don't even bother with this one

"Did you hear my joke about the Indian chief's wives?"

The first wife lived in a hut made of deer hide, and bore him one son.

The second wife lived in a hut made of bear hide, and bore him one son.

The third wife lived in a hut of hippopotamus skin and bore him twin sons.

"Thus the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of two hides!"

A fucking mad lib on the Pythagorean theorem. I'm pissed. He's so happy. Love you dad.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McBurger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2014
🚨︎ report

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