A list of puns related to "Ms Dos"
Sadly, MS-TRES never became popular.
Lionel: Hello, is it Mi you are looking for?
He tears up a rapper.
When he got there, a woman extended her hand.
"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"
Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the Frog, and I would like to borrow some money."
They walked over to her desk and sat down.
"Certainly, Mr. Frog--"
"Oh, just call me Kermit."
"Okay... Kermit. How much money would you like to borrow?"
"Ten thousand dollars."
Mildly surprised, Ms. Wack looked intently at Kermit.
"Do you have any references?"
"Well, I suppose I could use my father, Keith Richards."
Ms. Wack froze for a second, then...
"THE Keith Richards?"
"Oh, yes. In fact, he told me he's friends with your manager, which is why I came in here."
"Okay... Do you have any collateral?"
"Excuse me?"
"Collateral. Something of value, like a car, or a boat..."
"Oh, yes! I do have something. I have this."
Kermit reached into his briefcase and placed a small figurine on the desk. Patricia looked curiously at the object, then at our amphibious friend.
"What's this?"
"It's a Hummel."
"A what?"
"A Hummel. They're supposed to be quite valuable. Well, at least this one is to me."
She picked up the Hummel and stood up.
"If you don't mind, I would like to show this to the manager."
"Oh, no! I don't mind at all!"
So, Patricia took the Hummel to the manager's office, knocked on the door, and walked inside.
"Patricia! What can I do for you?"
"Mr. Wilson, there's this... frog named Kermit at my desk, and he wants to borrow $10,000, but he has only this for collateral."
Mr. Wilson looked at the Hummel, then out to her desk.
"I don't see anything out of order here."
"But, Mr. Wilson--"
"Look, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
He approaches the teller, Ms. Ursula Paddywhack. He says he needs a loan.
"What for?" asks the teller.
"I want to build a house," the frog replies. "Nothing too fancy, but I want $20,000."
"Do you have any collateral?" asks the teller.
The frog takes out a small crystal horse. "Would this be enough?"
"No, that's not enough," the teller replies. "Do you have anything else?"
"My father is Keith Richards," says the frog.
The teller, unsure what to do, goes to the bank manager. She describes the entire situation and asks for advice. The manager says,
"It's a knick-knack, Paddywhack. Give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone."
So driving home last night, as we pass the Interstate exit for Gallman, MS, my 16 year old daughter remarks "Wow, they sure do have some gall, man."
I have never been more proud.
Dad: Take my advice ...
...I'm not using it ———————————————
Every time my step Dad comes up with a foolproof solution..
along comes a more-talented fool
..dad
———————————————
When I married Ms. Right...
I had no idea her first name was Always.
———————————————
My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test
The other two guys managed to jump out of her way.
———————————————
He who laughs last
...thinks slowest.
———————————————
Women sometimes make fools of men
...but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
———————————————
I was going to give her the nasty look
..but she already had one.
———————————————
Change is inevitable
...except from a vending machine.
———————————————
The grass may be greener on the other side
...but at least you don't have to mow it.
Mr. Sterling Frogsen was desperate. After a few months of success, his bakery was beginning to flounder and running in the red. He was a proud man who was proud of starting his small business without asking for any help. But now times were tough and he had to face the fact that without a loan his bakery was doomed.
So he went to local bank but was disheartened to see that the loan officer was the notorious Patricia Wacomb, the hard-nosed banker who only agreed to sure bets and rarely took risks.
"Please, ma'am, I am in sore need of this loan! My bakery is only going through a temporary setback!" Normally such pleas fell on deaf ears, but today Patricia was feeling generous. Something about Mr. Frogsen moved her and she believed his plight.
"Mr. Frogsen, I would approve this loan, but this bank cannot afford to take any risks."
"Is there anything you can do, Ms. Wacomb? I am desperate!"
"Well, do you have any collateral?"
"Only this family heirloom," Sterling responded while handing Patricia his prized family treasure. Patricia was at a loss, however, for she had never seen anything like that before.
"Let me ask my manager," she responded as she showed her director the prized heirloom. His eyes opened wide in amazement as he told her,
"It's a knick-knack, Patty Wack, now give the Frog a loan!"
And I bought her M&Ms for a snack. The movie is letting out and we are sitting there talking.
Her - "ugh the M&Ms are melted."
I begin to tell her M&Ms history about how they were made so soldiers could have chocolate without the worry of them melting.
Her -" but the shells are sweaty"
" yeah how else do you think they stay cool?"
She literally just got up and left while I was sitting there laughing my ass off.
Mom: Luke, Ms. _____ says that you're doing very well in class except for one thing. She says that when you do work, you're rushin'. So just try your best to take your time.
Dad: Luke, when you go back to school tell your teacher that you're American, not Russian.
A boy tells his dad, "We have a new teacher this week. Her name is Ms. Simon." Dad quickly replies, "Does everyone do what Ms. Simon Says?"
This was translated from Bengali so it might sound a bit funny as I'm not completely fluent.
A boy in grade 5 wrote a letter to Bill Gates.
Dear Sir,
I have a few questions for you,
Why are the letters in the keyboard scrambled??? When will the correct version be released?
We use MS-Word, when will Mr. Word be released???
There is no [Any Key] button on the keyboard yet why does the computer ask for it???
My last question is:
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