I was handling prawns with tongs and a pair of scissors

I guess it was open prawn surgery

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👤︎ u/MrDragonace
📅︎ Nov 22 2019
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Had an argument with my wife earlier. We were fighting hammer and tong...

She won, She had the hammer.

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đŸ’Ŧ︎
📅︎ Apr 21 2019
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Roommate: If you keep stealing all my kitchen utensils than I'm moving out!

Me: That's a whisk I'm willing to take.

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👤︎ u/Thefullerexpress
📅︎ Mar 03 2020
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A dad Manning the grill at a backyard bbq. Son approaches...

Son: "Dad? Can you make me a burger?"

Dad: "Sure! (waives tongs like a magic wand) POOF! You're a burger!"

(Dad laughing hysterically. Son rolls eyes)

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👤︎ u/Darknighten89
📅︎ Jun 04 2019
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What is a chef doing when no one can understand him?

Speaking in tongs

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👤︎ u/PrinceofBlood
📅︎ Feb 23 2019
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When I'm cooking on the grill I like to sing

The Tong Song

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/Frankxarts
📅︎ Jun 14 2018
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So, my family had a BBQ the other day.

We're all sitting around the table as we scoop and tong all the things we want to eat. My brother-in-law is grabbing some pasta salad when my dad lays down this gem.

Dad: Hey Tim, can you pass-da-salad?

Tim: Yeah, sure. Oh god...

My dad and I proceed to laugh for about 5 minutes as the rest of the family sit their shaking their heads.

👍︎ 40
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👤︎ u/GreyVale
📅︎ Sep 19 2013
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In the kitchen

"Will you hand me the grabby things for picking up salad?"

"Tongs?"

"No, thank YOU"

My child was not amused.

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👤︎ u/naka_witch
📅︎ Jul 16 2014
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