A list of puns related to "ToBI"
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Just enough to get BI
Male friend of mine, [Elton], is bi, told me about a crush he had on a guy he'd met through wilderness backpacking (relevant), and how he doesn't think he has a chance. Having no other information and an IT guy's policy of checking the obvious things first, I asked the dumb questions, via text.
>Me: So you're sure he's into guys
>Elton: Y E S
>Me: Okay, okay, just getting that straight
>Elton: A N G E R Y
>Me: But yeah, given everything else you've told me, I think you've got a chance
Me: Presuming he also knows the lay of the land
Elton: N O
Elton: S T A H P
I don't know why he keeps coming to me for relationship advice.
I guess I am meant to be bi-myself.
who went to both the most northern and the southern points on Earth?
He was bi-polar.
She was buying tickets to a show, and the theater is separated into two sections.
Her: "Do you want to sit in the upper or lower section?"
Me: "Top or bottom. It doesn't matter, I'm bi-sectional."
I got a good glare, and a sense that I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight.
BACK STORY:
So I got a new job through one of my good friends, and while working with him I shook hands with my boss Chad, awesome guy. As we were making small talk I was stuttering a bit, and my good friend, Neil, loves messing with me about it.
Me: Yeah, that sounds g-g-great
Neil: T-T-TODAY JUNIOR, jeez can your mouth ever talk straight?
Chad: Hey it's legal now so if his mouth wants that, it's none of my business and more power to him.
Me: But my mouth is bi
Neil:Bi what?
Me: Bi my nose
Chad laughed hard, this will be a great job. More dad jokes to come, I'm sure
My family was sitting round the table for our bi-weekly dinner, and the conversation was about my Brothers GF's recent trip to Paris. My Dad perked up from his food when the River Seine was mentioned asking "Did you see anyone jump it? Because if you had than they were Insane!"
So I'm a cashier and I've heard nearly every tired joke that customers say to get a laugh out of me. To be honest, they usually only get a pity chuckle and a half-hearted smile. But this guy... he was one Funny Old Dude
This guy and his wife walk up to my register to check out. They look like they could be older than my grandparents. Him, his wife and I were just make cordial small talk, when my coworker who was a bagger today walks up.
>>Bagger: "Would you like paper or plastic today, sir?"
>>FunnyOldDude: "What was that, son?"
>>B: "Paper or plastic today?"
>>FOD: "What ever you want, man. I'm bi-sack-ual."
I busted out laughing. I never expected to hear that! And definitely not from this old white guy!
The cashier asked if I wanted paper or plastic. I told her it didn't matter.
The guy behind me (dad of a friend of mine) leans over to me and says: "Tell her you're bi-sacksual and see how she reacts!"
I had Mr. B for a media class in which we worked on computers. We were working in Photoshop and text design specifically. Well, as everyone knows, you can alter the orientation of text. I was young and dumb, I said aloud that my text was 'bi-curious.' Mr. B came up to me and said
"Do you mean you're bi-textual?"
He quickly apologized.
When my little brother was born, he got super bruised from the birth canal and came out purple. As soon as he was born, my grandfather (who was in the delivery room) turned to my grandmother and asked:
"Is there anyone purple on your side of the family?"
Just enough to get Bi
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