The Tuts Puns

“I want my mummy”

I told her the (pretty good) guess was wrong, the spider is in fact 8 feet.

The wife tutted, the spider rolled all of his eyes and I walked away, feeling accomplished.

My SO called me out recently because when we went to the vets with our kitten, the receptionist approached us in the waiting room with a bag of cat treats and said to my SO "Awww, would he like one?"

I replied "No thanks, I don't like them."

Receptionist awkwardly chuckled, SO tutted and I sat there basking in warmth of my dadjoke victory.

Dad and I are watching a show about the Iceman.

We start talking about mummification and King Tut. I mention to him about the recent damage to the sarcophagus' beard.

He says, "Well that Sphinx."

Well done dad. Well done.

Woke up on Sunday morning, said to the girlfriend I'd go put the kettle on.

I asked "How do I look?" when I came back into the bedroom wearing it on my dead.

She tutted...