*Wakes up
"Hurry up turnips groooow"
"Hey I have mail. Where the hell is the beach and why does this guy have a present for me?"
"I don't have time for people I have to get these rocks and wood!"
"No! I don't need any more fiber!!!"
"Sh** it's 1 PM ALREADY."
"Holy cow the beach is SO FAR away."
"IT'S ALREADY 2 PM HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET TO THE BEACH BY 5."
"Get out of my way people THERE IS NO TIME."
"MOVE YOU STUPID BUSH. GO AWAY SAM."
"it's already 4:30... I'm not going to make it."
"FU** YOU BUSH GET OUT THE WAY."
"There's a doooog!"
"Can I hit Alex with my watering pale?"
"Can I sit on the bench?"
"It's 6 and all I did was talk to Alex and dig in his trash."
"OH MY LORD WHERE ARE MY DA** PARSNIPS."
"Where. Is. My. Farm."
"And why don't I have any food???"
"Why am I carrying a rock? How did that happen?"
"I'm carrying a rooooock."
"This rock won't leave me alone."
"Freaking kill the freaking plants."
"Oh I have a geode that's cool."
"My pickaxe isn't strong enough. That's what she said."
"I'm out here breaking rocks at 9 PM. SHOW ME A MORE DEDICATED FARMER."
"I refuse to go to bed."
UPDATE: Thanks for the kind comments! So glad I could share this with you - my wife's pretty hilarious sometimes. Cherish those who make you happy ♥️
After a few moments of silence, my son replies "That's it?"
Lol I have tried to write this post so many times and there's just so much crazy it is way too long and almost unbelievable.
What an abusive lunatic bunch she and her parents and sister are.
Criminals, kidnappers, thieves, child abusers, fraudsters, liars, perjurers, alienators, and narcissists, all of 'em.
I remember this story from high school around 4 or 5 years ago. I don't know when it was written but I think it was fairly popular as part of English assignments. The story starts with the police officer coming home to break up with his pregnant wife and she kills him with the frozen lamb, then she goes to the store and comes home to report a murder, and ends up feeding the murder weapon to the detectives.
I followed this guide online on how to access it after the text and know what they are thinking. I can't for the life of me and I can't stop wanting to listen to that voice - and it will be possible to orbit Mt hood? Hi everyone, There is something funky with one of the oldest civilizations still in existence.
Thank you to everyone who shared support here when I was terrified yesterday.
My wife had been showing all signs of a healthy, low-risk first time pregnancy until yesterday afternoon. After she suddenly developed severe “heartburn” and diarrhea that transitioned into abdominal pain, I checked her blood pressure using a home cuff and obtained a reading of 189/133. Her most recent BP at last Friday’s visit was 110/60. I checked it three times and they were all consistently severely elevated.
We hadn’t even finalized our birth plan or attended our birth education class. The hospital we were planning to deliver at did not have a NICU, and there was a thought in the back of my mind that this could lead to delivery, so after a quick discussion, she agreed to go to the ER at a hospital we had never even been to.
The ER triage nurses balked at us for not going to our own peovider’s hospital first (which really pissed me off), but they quickly sent us to L&D for triage, where my wife’s BP peaked at about 202/150. I am a clinical psychologist and I know that this level of hypertensive crisis could cause strokes or seizures, but I had to help her manage her own anxiety, and somehow found the strength to walk her through some breathing relaxation exercises I teach to clients, which helped her feel less panicked.
She received a course of blood pressure medications that helped to control her symptoms, but the on-call OBGYN ran tests to screen for other severe symptoms of preeclampsia and saw evidence of early stage liver problems, and she informed us that we would be going into surgery within the hour. I was stunned and tried to hold myself together long enough to call our parents to let them know. My in-laws has just flown across the country earlier that day to visit relatives, and immediately went to work looking for return flights.
The hardest part of the night for me was sitting outside the OR for the longest 15 minutes of my life while my wife was prepped for surgery. I was shaking and trying to hold back tears as I contemplated my daughter’s and wife’s survival rates. (Even mental health professionals freak out sometimes.)
My wife was a rockstar. She was so scared, but I just ignored everything around me and stared her in the eyes as I walked her through calming breathing and guided imagery exercises. Our daughter, Joanna Elise, was born at 1:37 am weighing 2 lbs. 4 oz. and 14.06 inches long.
The NICU staff are incredibly kind and comforting here.
... keep reading on reddit ➡What's the best way to get his story out there? He has some amazing tales, from training the Tibetans in Saipan, the Hmong in Laos, the Montagnard in Vietnam, and many more!
*If this garners enough interest, we'll have him do a full AMA.
She did not hold Up well.
SUPPORT WEB NOVEL TRY READING HERE https://www.webnovel.com/category/list?category=0
Wall of text
TL;DR at bottom.
When my wife isn't sleepy but it's past our bedtime she'll ask me to read her a bedtime story. Normally- no problem, but last night she was particularly needy and demanded that I make up a story on the spot instead of reading one. I was too tired to make one up so I figured, "Why not use recycled material?"
"Make sure it's a cute story!" she then said.
"Okay, no problem," I said, figuring I could just make a couple of tweaks here or there to make it cute.
Here's the story I told her. (If you don't care just skip to non-italics section)
Once upon a time, there was a village of bunnies. These bunnies lived in the forest and lived in tiny bunny houses. They all wore beautiful brown clothing that looked very nice with their grey fur and pink noses. One day, two bunnies wanted to leave the village and make their own. These bunnies, Copper and Longears, hopped with their families to a nearby grove and made their own village.
"How will other animals in the forest know whose village they're in?" asked Longears.
"We'll wear different colored clothes said Copper!"
Several days later, a bunny named Fluffers hopped his way to the new town to see what was happening. Imagine his surprise when he saw bunnies attacking each other!
"Red clothes stupid!" one bunny yelled.
"No, green clothes ugly!" another chirped as he kicked and punched his fellow bun.
Fluffers, quite scared, ran into the biggest house and found Copper and Longears arguing about clothes.
"What's the matter?" Fluffers asked.
"Red clothes too obvious!" Longears said, "Makes us easier to see for birds!"
"Green clothes look like grass! Can't find each other when we're out eating!" said Copper.
"Why not I pick a color for you?" Fluffers suggested.
"Long as it's not ugly green!" Copper said.
"How about orange?" Fluffers said.
"It's a bit too close to red," said Longears, "But we can try it."
So Fluffers left the town and hopped his way into the forest. He found an orange beetle and asked if he could borrow his shiny orange shell.
"If I lose my shell I can't protect my wings and I'll be sure to die!" he said.
"Okay, thanks anyway, " Fluffers said, then hopped along.
Then he came to a big bright bird and said, "Excuse me, may I borrow some feathers?"
"Get me some tasty berries and I can give you the feathers from my nest," the bird said graciously.
*Fluffers did as he was asked and soon he had returned to the
... keep reading on reddit ➡https://elpais.com/sociedad/2020/02/10/actualidad/1581344159_373319.html
>Xiaoyu Lu is a Chinese political science researcher on the Canberra campus of the National University of Australia. At the beginning of the year, overwhelmed by the smoke of the fires that hit the Australian capital, he decided to take a vacation and travel to his home country with his wife, a German national, and his three-year-old son.
>He arrived in China in mid-January, without imagining that he was escaping from hell to get into a much worse one. Now Xiaoyu Lu is one of about 11 million people trapped inside Wuhan since the city was completely closed on January 23 because of the coronavirus outbreak.
>“My wife and I decided to leave Canberra to protect the health of our three-year-old son,” says Lu. Although in the city itself the direct risk of fire was low, hundreds of kilometers around burned, the sky had been dyed red and the air breathed was weighed by the smoke and ashes spreaded by the wind.
>"Since in January it is summer in Australia and classes at the university were not yet started, we packed up and took a vacation in Wuhan to visit my parents and take advantage to celebrate the Chinese New Year as a family," explains Lu.
>When they landed in Wuhan the coronavirus was already news, and although the national emergency in China had not yet been declared, alarmist theories abounded. “I don't believe in conspiracies and at first I didn't wear a mask, because it seemed to me that this is a thing of old paranoids and crazy people. But as the days passed and the information slowly dropped through social networks, street conversations or the occasional official communication, we began to intuit the dimensions of the situation,” says the academic.
>“Then I gave in to alarm and wrote to my university asking for an extension of my vacation. I went out to buy masks for my family, because their use in public became an unwritten rule and they were running out in pharmacies. From January 20 the streets were a collage of white spots, like pear blossoms sprouting out of season,” says Lu.
>In a conversation with a friend in the following days he wondered if it would be sensible to leave the city. The Government gave him the answer when on January 23 he declared quarantine throughout the city. Then, life was paralyzed. “People stocked in supermarkets and returned home quickly. We took inventory of our food, and we calculated that it would not last more than t
... keep reading on reddit ➡So i packed up my stuff and right.
We're at that age where everyone around us is getting pregnant and it's driving us insane.
For the past 6 months we've been focused on trying for a baby, eating as well as possible, exercising, temping, OPKs, we've had blood tests done, ultrasounds, semen analysis and soon we're booked to see a OB/GN.
But it all so far feels like it was for nothing. We could have spent the past 6 months having fun, but now we both feel stupid for not trying earlier, assuming that we must have some huge infertility issue and maybe "we're not supposed to have kids".
The biggest stress is that my Wife is already panicking about how old she will be if we ever decide to have a second. She's already said that 35 is far too old, so if we don't have our first child next year then it's all over.
Please help!
