The Site Puns

I told the detective "Wait! I can explain everything!"

FAITHBOOK

Nah that's not mine. My ear had a pencil behind it

“I’m sorry. This is a place for men at work, not men without hats.”

It was O.K.

It's called ancestry dot com.

I told the arresting officer "I could explain everything."

I replied, “With our eyes.”

They said, “If your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”

I dug her dig's digs.

Now that's what I call a loco-motive.

It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.

Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.

It's called Studfinder.

But when I got home, all the signs were there

My username is "ComeGetPslam"

It will be called wikileeks.com

It was in tents.

Guess he failed his degree in Civil Engineering.

Petty Larceny.

I know, too soon.

A torrent!

past tents.

This has happened a few times. So yesterday on a conference call my boss mentions that this tree thinks he's either a cat with 9 lives or Jesus christ. I start laughing hysterically because in my head all I can think of is treesus christ.

My second child will be born in 2 weeks. I'm ultimate dad now.

I'm an architect and visited a house with my boss and the client today which is nearly finished. We were talking about the marble counter he got for his bathroom and how nice it is.

My boss - "Yes, client, we really think you're doing a marvelous job with this so far..."

Me - "Maybe even a marbleous job"

silence

They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

They said, “If your tents get blown over, you won’t be covered.”