A list of puns related to "The Provenance"
...and boys develop them around the age of fortyโฆ
Mostly golf strokes, swimming strokes, tennis strokes etc.
The soviets were Russian to get there
Me: You know, they say porcupines are one of the smartest animals on Earth.
Wife/kids: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, science has proven that they're pretty sharp.
It's cyantifically proven
It blue my mind
I'm quite purplexed
I red it on the internet
One of the funniest school puns; science puns
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyโd be alloys.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
If youโre not part of the solution, youโre part of the precipitate.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, โNo, Iโm traveling light.โ
Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because youโre talking nonsense!
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโs 0K now.
I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says โI think Iโll have an H2O.โ The second one says โI think Iโll have an H2O tooโ โ and he died.
A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.
Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
What element is a girlโs future best friend? Carbon.
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your โstyle.โ
Iโm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I canโt put it down.
I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnโt seem to be gaining momentum.
Why canโt atheists solve exponential equations? Because they donโt believe in higher powers.
Schrodingerโs cat walks into a bar. And doesnโt.
Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.
What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies โFor you, no chargeโ.
Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: โOh, no, I think I lost an electron.โ โAre you sure?โ
โYe
... keep reading on reddit โกWhile watching said movie; one of the little people actors popped up on screen spurring a mid movie discussion.
Mom : wasn't he from willow?
Dad: nawh I think he died a few years ago.
Mom: he died young I guess. He was what, 18 in willow?
Me: yeah it's scientifically proven that they live shorter lives.
Then my dad let out the proudest smile I ever saw
Clarification: they're all fine. Warwick davis is alive and well. He is now 44 years old. And I'm 24
A bit of backstory. I'm notorious among my circle of friends for telling "terrible puns/jokes" I think it's amazing, but I'd been rolling them out all day, patience for puns must've gotten shortened.
I'm talking with Shorty (named because she had short hair) and she was telling me about a book she had started.
Shorty "So the book's called 'Cutting for Stone' and it's like a doctor drama kinda thing, the only issue is that that it's super heavy on the medical terminology, so many bloody surgeries and procedures are listed, and I don't really know anything about that kids stuff. Like it's got an interesting plot but I don't know if I can't finish it, I'm not to sure I'm cut out for it"
At that last line I began laughing (her pun was unintentional) and compliment her on it "ha that was good. You're not 'cut out' for it"
Shorty "Oh god that was terrible just stop"
Me "You want me to 'cut' it out?"
Shorty "I'm going to kill you if you keep this up woman"
Me "You're gonna 'cut' me up?"
Shorty "Your jokes are terrible and it's proven that puns make people angry"
At this point I was just rolling in my chair laughing I really couldn't keep it together, possibly the best reply rolls through my head after this comment, I crack up, there I am choking out as tears come to my eyes. "Well it's a good thing it's not a PUNishable offense"
The girl next to me starts laughing as shorty yells at me how I can't just start crying at my own jokes.
TLDR; A witty banter of sharper than usual humor, as I walk a razor thin line of pissing off my friend and pissing myself with laughter.
I have many other stories so I titled this part one,if anybody likes my writing and jokes I'll share the rest!
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of fortyโฆ
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