A man walks into the doctor's office
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's.. erm .. well ... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Ah ok. How do your trousers fit?" asks the doc.
"Like a glove."
What is the opposite of Microsoft Office?
A Man rushed into a Doctor's office shouting ' help me Doctor, I'm shrinking' The Doctor calmly said ' Now settle down a bit '..
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
Office-ally the best pun thread
At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, “I like it well done.”
I said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
I won the "Most Secretive Guy" award in our office today.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me
A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"
And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".
@my office: 4 yr boy says “why did the Christmas cookie go to the dentist?”
Because he had Ginger-vitis!
That father had the biggest smile on his face.. happy holidays everybody!
Why was the chicken sent to the principles office?
He was caught using fowl language.
(I came up with this, but I'm sure it's been done before)
A midget was in my office applying for a job. He humbly noted all the benefits of his stature regarding the job.
I still think he was selling himself short.
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury
What do you call a finance minister who successfully completes his term in the office? BUCK-MINSTER-FULLER-RENE
The guy I suspect is a cannibal in the office always brings in something questionable.
Today was white chick in chili.
I’m worried about volunteering to help my uncle at work tomorrow at the coroner’s office
It’s a pretty big undertaking
What happened to the men who smashed all the windows in their office building..
They're now facing a glass action lawsuit.
To the person who stole my Microsoft office licence ,I will find you
If you rearrange the letters in post office
Your boss gets really mad.
Everyone at my therapist’s office hates it when I stand on one corner of the room and blow air at people.
1 of the 2 women in my office has cast a spell on me...
I don't know which one is witch ?
Never get caught behind Satan in line at the post office.
Why was the gay man exhausted after a long day at the office?
Because he worked 9 hours straight.
We had a party for our office supplies today. We even invited the invisible ink.
I was excavating a large hole in my backyard in order to build an underground office. My neighbor wasn't too happy with the noise and wanted to come and see what all the commotion was about.
I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.
As I was leaving the vet’s office, he said “Here is the bill..
Sorry, that we were unable to reattach it to your duck.”
What is he underwater equivalent of “The office”
The other day somebody asked me if I liked the office
I told them It depends on how much work I have pending
My wife is returning to the office and thus has to go back to wearing work outfits. One of her complaints was that wearing a bra was such a drag...
I’ve always found them to be very uplifting.
Just another joke making rounds in the Office
Man had the courage to come into my office and ask what the bucket, the rope, and the pipes were for...
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
What is the king of office supplies?
What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office?
”I can clearly see you're nuts....”
A man goes into the doctors office
"Doctor,doctor" he says, "I keep thinking I'm a small city"
The doctor does some tests and says, "I'm sorry. You have town syndrome"
I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, "Take Your Kid to Work Day." As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her.
As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"
Started a job at an accounting apprenticeship office... took me an unreasonably long time to get the pun in their slogan
My dad was telling me about his doctor’s appointment today. He needed to get some vaccines, but because of Covid he would have to go to the office and they would give them to him in his car.
He said he was going to be involved in a drive by shooting.
A guy walks into the office
I ask for his name. He says it’s Dasani. I said, ”water you here for?” He didn’t look amused. I said, “hey bud no need to keep your emotions bottled up.”
- Excel is hands down the best software in Microsoft Office
My son asked me if the movie Office Space was funny
I told him, in a few years, you’ll see it’s a documentary.
After waiting for an hour at the doctor's office the nurse came by and said sorry for the wait...
To which I replied, "No problem, I'm patient."
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury.
To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
What's the opposite of Microsoft Office?
To the person who stole my Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word!
Did you know if you rearrange all the letters in the Post Office
To the person whole stole my Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.
I can't tell you how much this award
means to me.
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