To the person who stole my MS Office License.
I will find you. You have my Word.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 03 2021
Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.
Iβm on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
Whatβs the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office?
If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
I am at the waiting room of the doctorβs office, wondering when my girlfriendβs checkup will be over.
Sitting at the Doc of the Bae, wasting time.
π︎ 37
π
︎ May 06 2021
A man bursts into his therapist's office and yells, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep dreaming that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"
The therapist looks up from his paperwork, looks at the man, and says, "I'm busy at the moment, so I'll deal with you later."
π︎ 115
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
π︎ 220
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
My boss walked into my office this morning and handed me a brochure on anger management.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
Man walks into a psychiatrist office w/clear wrapping paper on
The psychiatrist says,"I can clearly see your nuts."
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 25 2021
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk in to a doctors office...
...the nurse asks the rabbit, βwhat blood type are you?β
The rabbit says, βIβm probably a type O.β
π︎ 46
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
Why don't women like MS office
Because it's Micro and Soft
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 03 2021
Why did the Joker enjoyed working in the post office on the weekends ?
Cause it's not about the money . It's about sending a message !
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
What did Donatello and Raphael throw out their office window?
The shredder. They fought with it too much.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
Where do you put your problems when going to the office?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
What kind of rabbit works in the dentists office?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
A man walks into his doctorβs office and says, βDoctor, I think Iβm addicted to Twitter.β
The doctor looks at him and says, βSorry, I donβt follow you."
π︎ 800
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
There was a break in at an office block recently. Many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
Someone really did a number on the office bathroom.
I got really upset until I realized I work from home and I am the only one home.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
A thief took my Microsoft Office license key
I'll come and get you thief! You have my Word
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
Coworker's response to us wearing similar outfits at office job
"Hey! Who we playing tonight?"
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
I walked into my boss' office to tell him I'd like to be considered for a promotion.
I sat in the chair and said, "Boss, I want a higher position."
"Well, if you push that lever," he said, pointing by my legs, "the chair will go up."
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
A man walks into the doctor's office
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's.. erm .. well ... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Ah ok. How do your trousers fit?" asks the doc.
"Like a glove."
π︎ 153
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
I saw Kate Middleton's sister leaving a plastic surgeon's office the other day, but I can't tell you what work she had done.
That would be a Pippa violation.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
My daughter came into my "home office" (closet) and said, "You wanna hear a joke?" I told her that I did
Daughter: "Quarantine."
Me: . . .
Daughter: "You don't get it. It's an inside joke."
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Aug 08 2020
My boss asked me why I went to the gym to get office supplies
I told him that's where I get toner
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
Recently moved to a new place and position for my job. Boss on the first day said "Hey Paul glad you made it, how you liking your new office?"
I said "I think you forgot my name, but I'm a Justin Well, thanks."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
I used to love going to the post office
but the Postmaster General has really taken DeJoy out of the mail.οΏΌ
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
I'm pretty sure my office printer is Jamaican.
It's always jammin', mahn.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Jun 20 2020
I was gonna apply for a job at a Dentistβs Office, but unfortunately...
They didnβt need any fillings.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
Somebody stole my Microsoft office and they're going to pay.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
I won the "Most Secretive Guy" award in our office today.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
What is the opposite of Microsoft Office?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
I was tasked to come up with a great pun for a new launch of Microsoft Office, I thought Iβd come up with a great one.
But my publisher told me that word games are not what I excel at.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
A Man rushed into a Doctor's office shouting ' help me Doctor, I'm shrinking' The Doctor calmly said ' Now settle down a bit '..
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
We have a strict hierarchy policy for PPE usage at my office...
Regular workers must wear small face shields, while Managers get to use the super-visors.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, βI like it well done.β
I said, βThanks. That means a lot.β
π︎ 100
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
A local contractor hired a pasta chef to redo the interior of a doctorβs office that studies antibiotics.
The inside looks great! They have a penne ceiling.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
Office-ally the best pun thread
π︎ 24
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Someone stole my copy of Microsoft Office!
I dont know who you are, but I WILL get you for this. You have my Word.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
A man walked into a psychiatrist's office wearing only Saran Wrap
The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
π︎ 50
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
A man walks into a psychiatrists office
The man sits down and the psychiatrist says βWhat problems are you having?β The man says βDoctor Iβve been having the weirdest dreams, last night I dreamed that I was a teepee then the next night I dreamt I was a wigwam.β The psychiatrist sits for a moment and thinks after a moment he says βI think I know your problem youβre two tents.β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
A genius researcher stormed into my office today
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
I got promoted at my job and my new office is up in a tree house.
π︎ 159
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
The worst thing about being fired from the unemployment office
Is that you have go back the next day.
π︎ 48
π
︎ May 06 2021
To the person who stole my Microsoft Office license.
I'm gonna find you. You have my word.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
To the person who stole my Microsoft Office key.
Im gonna find you. You have my word.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Mar 06 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
