You know what they say about the food at meditation centers?

It may not take up all your stomach but it will always keep your mind full

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bellicose_buddha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?

Fro-zen!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thanosisntwrong
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What does the electrician say when he meditates?

Oooohm

πŸ‘︎ 392
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/w0zzie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the wolf meditate?

To become aware wolf!

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the guy who meditated in the middle of a storm?

He said it was a very β€œin lightening” experience.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cananbaum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The Monk and The Cow

A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.

"moo."

The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.

He's interrupted again, "moooo."

The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."

The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.

"Oooooommmm-"

Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."

"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."

The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"

"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.

The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"

The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconbuddy95
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the electrical engineer say while meditating?

Ohmmmm.... Ohmm....

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/romulusnr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2016
🚨︎ report
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I can picture the powers of the future, stronger than ever, and the resistance fighting desperately against them for freedom...

Before every battle, the resistors meditate saying, "ohm..."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A beautiful tradition

Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.

As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.

As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: β€œI am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlemagnalpaca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Need help with a pun!

I recently posted a picture of a peaceful looking, meditating waldo with a title that reads "Plot twist. Waldo finds himself". My uncle replied with the awesome pun: "Waldo is my "om" boy!"

I need a pun to compete! Thanks for any help.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ibcurlyfry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Last night i caught a burglar in my living room. He was super chilled and smelled of incense.

I think the break-in was pre-meditated.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
During a recent painful procedure at my dentist's office...

It was suggested by his assistant that I keep my thoughts focused on my "happy place". I said, "No problem, I practice transcen-dental meditation" Not even a snicker from the two of them.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aceoftrachs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Heard this one at a temple in my city

Yesterday I was at a Thai Buddhist temple in my city. The secondary meditation instructor was just chatting with the group a bit before things began. He was explaining to me that on Sundays the temple has language classes. Someone else asked if he spoke Thai, he then explained to us that he didn't complete all the courses and considers himself.......A Thai School Drop out.

I laughed so much harder than I should have at this, mainly because I had been trying to think of some dadjokes earlier that day. Universe provided.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IceJudge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2015
🚨︎ report
School Activity

So tonight my school had an activity. It started off with a meditation circle.
The lady running it said "after we meditate we'll make s'mores" to which I reply "s'more what?"

Many laughs were had. She was unamused.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Visell
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
🚨︎ report
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.