A list of puns related to "The Inmates"
His cell mate was a total nut
That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.
On his cell phone.
He never finished his sentence.
The prose outweighs the cons.
First, they had to weigh the pros and cons.
She didn't give any context.
Ciao time...
The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.
After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.
Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.
The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself.
But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top, which he had promised his wife.
So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.
But, alas, Andy refused.
He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place."
He wanted to curry favor with the guards.
It's called Prose and Cons.
Sorry. I'll just get me coat...
She had her period at the end of her sentence.
He had Post-Pardon Depression.
"Nut bolts and screws."
It was just two cell mates who felon love
I said, "maybe they killed someone with kindness!"
For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"
I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural
And that inmate is in an elevator... And the elevator is going down... Is it condescending?
Guard: Inmate #2276 escaped sir!
Warden: WHAT! How long ago?
Guard: There was a random search last night at 8:30, so figure he's been on the lamb for about 8 hours.
Warden: Oh thank God, what a relief.
Guard: How so sir? That's a hell of a long time to be missing.
Warden: Yes, but imagine how far he'd be if he was on the horse.
Suddenly there was pandemonium everywhere. The guards on duty ushered us out of the gates just as a horde of inmates began climbing over the barrier wall.
One by one they dropped down disappearing into the brush. Just as I looked up, a midget in an orange jumpsuit stuck his tongue out at me and gave me the finger as he came down.
I thought to myself, "Well that's a little con descending."
They're afraid the inmates will pick lox.
"So you're the new imitate, huh?" "Don't you mean inmate?" "Wah, wah, don't you mean inmate wah wah"
The documentary mentioned how some inmates try to sneak in cell phones by sticking it up their butt. Without hesitation I responded with "I bet you they get crappy reception." then my wife gave out the longest sigh... I think I'm getting the hang of this.
A former inmate was signing books at Alcatraz today. He was an inmate there for 15 years. It was later in the day, so I tried to make polite conversation. I asked, "have you been here long?"
He didn't answer...
An Official is inspecting a lunatic asylum to find one inmate to be released for the Asylum's anniversary, after several hours of visiting the numerous wards he enters one where he finds a man sitting on his bed carving a wooden block. He approaches the man and asks him what he was carving, the man on the bed replies that he carves wooden clothes pegs, and that each day he makes around 5. "Well that certainly is impressive" the inspector tells the man, "I think I shall recommend you to the warden for release." The inspector then notices a man hanging from the ceiling, "What is he doing up there?" he again questions the man on the bed. "Oh, he thinks he's a light bulb!" The man on the bed replies, "Well, shouldn't we get him down?" the Inspector asks, shocked, "Don't be daft!", remarks the Man on the bed, "I can't work in the dark!"
ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do
BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
MISTY: How golfers create divots
PARADOX: Two physicians
PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
POLARIZE: What penguins see with
PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does
SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official
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