The Forward Puns

With that, John got in line and when it was his turn the Pastor asked, " John, what do you want me to pray for you?"

John replied, "Pastor, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The Pastor put one finger of one hand on John's ear, placed his other hand on top of John's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the Pastor removed his hands, stood back and asked: "John, how is your hearing now?"

John answered, "I don't know. My hearing is actually next Thursday in the "Magistrate Court."

His car was Putin reverse.

Their next car is Elon gated.

..Raked it in last year.

I have to know what his final answer was.

I hate meeting new people

A real Al dente’s inferno

You could say that my vision is 2020.

They call it Modem Warfare!

It is 2020, after all.

“Thanks,” said the woman, “that means a lot.”

I started pronouncing words backwards and forwards, with slight variation in the sounds of the consonants.

Mom....mmoM.

Dad....daaD.

Poop....pooP.

Daughter: What are you doing!? *Shriveled nose face

Dad: I'm trying to think of words that sound the same backwards and forwards. Can you think of any?

Daughter: Um, no.

Dad: I'm surprised you didn't instantly think of... Sass.

(Still would work if they come up with examples as long as they don't think of sass.)

"What do you mean? What bank?"

"You are going to Palestine..."

"Yes, and? Why would I go to a bank in Palestine?"

"The West Bank"

Sign language, it can get a little handsy.

Because its a punchline.

As a matter of fact, I’m dreading it.

Some would say I like to come to conclusions.

That's how I roll.

The defence is stumped

Cargo

I told him "I can't wait to start learning how to turn:, I then turned 90° to my left and exclaimed "holy crap I'm getting the hang of it already"