That’s snot a good look for him.
Things have been Rocky between us ever since then.
Dr says, "There's nothing to worry about. You just need to have utensils taken out."
I guess I should come clean about it
Three Doors Down.
I could also rant about him being a chauvinist and womanizer, but.. we shouldn't go off on such a tan gent.
He ended up retired.
Apparently, they want to be in the room where "It" happened
It should make my autobiography much more interesting.
They all came out looking different but they taste the same.
Except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
It’s called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.
Authorities still haven’t determined how the fire started,but they say one of the residents of the Cathedral has a hunch.
I find it very appealing.
I didn't want to be known as the guy who blew up the Death Star.
He said, so you think I should keep a log log?
However, none of them work
She said with every shot so far
.
I’ll pick up my guitar and play, just like yesterday.
It was a real A-ha moment.
My cousin (MtF) has just come out to the family- she told some of us "younger" ones but she was afraid especially of what her dad's reaction would be. He's a man of few words and was never outgoing or very affectionate to his kids, his side of the family is pretty conservative as well. A very as-seen-on-TV-in-the-90s dad with a handlebar moustache and multiple different-but-same polo t-shirts. Her mum passed a few years ago and they are even more distant than ever. It was finally the big day and she told him in front of a couple of us. The silence seemed to stretch on into the infinite. After some time, he got up, and without even a slight change in expression he said- "so I guess you can't see me now".
...
More silence
...
"Because I'm a transparent geddit?" With the most gigantic smile I've EVER seen him crack.
It's been 5 days and he's been cracking the same joke on every opportunity he can, ever since.
Edit- I forgot my favorite part- he asked her if she would like to add her mum's name in her new one because he missed saying it. I BAWLED my eyes out.
Edit2: obligatory I can't believe how much this blew up! We met at a family gathering yesterday and he was still chuckling so i decided to post this. I sent my cousin this post and she says he's very proud of himself. Thanks for all the awards! This is crazy!
I see that there was some confusion about the moustache description - we're a first generation Indian - Hindu family, and it's traditional especially for the older generation I think.
It's a cute moment, but not everyone is as positive. Some neighbors, people at school, a teacher or so (it's just a phase! you'll ruin your life!), and she's been handling calls all day from AH family members who only call for gossip.
His name was Popsicles.
A man decides to make some macaroni at his home after work. He was really tired but eventually he made a dish to be proud of. He looks around his kitchen drawers for any of his plastic forks but can’t find any so he decides to just use a spoon. A few minutes later his girlfriend comes home and asks for some of his macaroni. He complies and hands her a spoon so she can eat with him. “Why a spoon”, she asks. The man replied,
“I’ve run out of forks to give”
The husband replied, “Thanks honey… Without my glasses on, so do you.”
That should spice up my autobiography a bit.
…but it was no match for the FIA’s Weapon of Masi Destruction!
He was the fleeced na'vi dad.
Merry Xmas y'all
I don't know what HD is, but apparently I have 80 of them
I don’t know what to make of it.
I told my dad, "I think he just lost his appletite."
… better beef up security
He walked into my room and says, "Hey dad, can you take a picture of me?"
I thought it was a weird request, but said, "Sure."
As I'm reaching for my phone, he pulls out a framed picture of himself from behind his back he had taken off one of our shelves, hands it to me, and says, "Ok, thanks!" and walks out without even cracking a smile.
I stared at that picture for a few seconds in proud silence.
*edit/update* Wow... I woke up this morning and noticed a ton of notifications. This made my 10 year old very happy so thank you. And thank you for the awards as well. Totally unexpected and unnecessary but very appreciated.
He said, “I don’t like your latitude.”
...but it came sooner than I expected
Because a few bad apples spoil the bunch.
Turns out I wasn't the sharpest kid after all
Me: Lanyards or fobs?
Then she rolled her eyes "so hard it hurt."
It’s just a curd to me.
I responded, "is there an option to leave them all there?"
He's relaxing in a comfy chair, reading the newspaper, until he hears a quiet voice call out to him:
"Nice suit."
The man looks up and around for the source of the comment, but to no avail. There's no one else in the lounge except for an attendant, busily working away on the other side of the room.
Figuring he must've been hearing things, the man resumes reading the newspaper, until a few minutes later when the same voice says to him:
"That's a lovely watch."
Again, the bewildered man searches for the source of the voice, but there is absolutely no one who could have possibly said it to him. Exasperated, he gives up and goes back to reading his paper. But once more, the voice speaks to him:
"Great haircut."
The man whips his head up, gets to his feet and looks around but there is nobody there. Desperate, he calls for the attendant to come over. He asks:
"Excuse me, but could you hear that voice talking before? I can't see anyone else but me and you here."
"No, I'm afraid I haven't heard anything of the sort." replies the attendant, shaking his head.
"It keeps on saying how much it likes my clothes, my watch - even my haircut!" states the man, growing frustrated.
A beam of realisation dawns across the attendant's face. Gesturing towards a bowl of provided nuts resting on the table, the attendant chimes:
"Oh! That must be the peanuts! They're complimentary."
Seeing an opportunity to break the tension, I called from the living room, "I guess you BUTTER not do that again!"
Mom shouted back that my joke was terrible, but she was laughing too much to stay irritated.
The secret is to stuff a few bricks in there..
