The Trump Presidency didn't end with a bang...
Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, “THE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!”
It might be farmer Geddon.
Did you know that if you took the Eiffel Tower apart and laid each piece end to end...
you could go to jail for a very long time?
The U.K. lockdown is going to end...
And this is the way it ends
What starts, ends, and has T in the middle?
We should have known this year was gonna suck. We were never gonna end the year as winners. The writing was on the wall. At the end of the year, we should have known we'd be facing the truth-
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
I secretly don't want 2020 the end..
Because then it'd mean 2021.
What does a robot do at the end of a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts!
Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.
What starts with P and ends with ORN, and is the best part of the movie industry?
I saw the post about not wanting 2020 to end as it would mean that 2021...
but I am just worried that two years later, nothing will change and it will be still be the same as 2022...
What's the most popular beauty product during end times?
I was only going to buy one budgie, but in the end I got two.
While playing Mortal Kombat in Sweden, what does the announcer say at the end of a fight?
My son cried when he lost his first girlfriend. I told him don't worry its not the end of the world
Why did the chess player worried towards the end of his meal in a restaurant?
Because the waiter said, "CHECK?"
"I think I have a weird fetish for the end of an essay."
"How do you know that?"
"I just just came to that conclusion."
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “Repent! The End is nigh!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....
St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."
He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"
The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".
St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"
The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."
"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"
The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".
"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No Time.”
I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with
At the end of the day we can say 2020 wasn't so bad.
Because hindsight is 2020.
I've just got some new glasses, and when I first put them on, I could see tiny little people with wings at the end of the garden. I rang my optician to report the problem, but he said it was completely normal with these glasses...
You said everything would be back to normal by the end of June...
Looking at a Terminix truck, the IX at the end are the roman numerals for the number nine...
Which is one more than eight. I feel this has to have been part of the name creation. “We’ll do you one better than terminate, we’ll termiNINE”.
Can the coronavirus survive on Mars if it ends up on a SpaceX rocket ?
"a lone mask" wants to know !
My girlfriend couldn’t stand my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart.
The irony is that I’m a Gemini.
Disney is releasing a version of Tangled with an alternate ending where Rapunzel's hair isn't chopped off at the end.
They're calling it the Uncut Edition.
I said to my doctor "I wake up thinking I'm a penguin, and by the end of the day I believe I'm an arctic fox."
So I got a divorce at the end
My wife is really mad that I don't have a sense of direction. So I just packed my bags and right.
All the jokes I think of end with a double preposition
I can just never think of anything else to finish them off with
I heard they were PANTing at the end of the race.
Somebody was giving me a synopsis of their fan fic that includes a killer clown, a talking dog, and a flying house and at the end they said
At the end of a call at my job, I ask if there’s anything else I can help with.
Guy (being bugged by his kids in the background) replies, “Yeah, can I put 9 and 12 year olds in your recycle containers?”
I replied, without skipping a beat, “Oh, no. I’m so sorry, We JUST stopped accepting those ages. We are currently taking 8 and 10 year olds.”
If I swallow two pieces of strings, they will come out the other end tied together
Linkin Park have a song called Numb, but to me their In The End is Number song
So I told my friend I was gonna watch Cars for the first time and he told me how it ends.
I always wondered about the fight between Dio and Jotaro. Even though Dio had trained for months before facing him, Jotaro still destroyed him in the end
Ig he really didn't stand a chance
UPS says my book on evergreen herbs from the mint family lamiaceae is going to be delivered tomorrow by end of day.
The end of the Beatles boards?
I heard someone played Animal Crossing: New Horizons for so long on end they conked out with the console still in their hands.
Looks like someone fell asleep at the Switch.
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