The Doctor's Wife Puns

He thought about it for a bit and said "I am off-duty in 10mins, meet me in the car park"

And after that I’ll see

“Is this her first child?” He asks.

“No this is her Husband.”

"Which doctor?" she asked.

"No, the regular kind."

She has a great personality though

He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."

I said "But she has a great personality."

She text me, “he got three shots”

So I text back, “isn’t he a little young to be drinking?”

I was convinced it was a Pull door.

you're going to be a mummy

I said: Which doctor?

She said: No, a normal one

And I said, “Honey, watch out for those double contractions! They’re brutal.”

There shouldn’t’ve been another one for at least 10 minutes,

The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one my wife did make!"

And the receptionist was trying to schedule our next appointment, which was a routine check up. "We'll get you in and out real quick," she said. I turned to her and said, "that's what got us into this mess in the first place."

My dad: Oh, so 9 months ago she was se-duced and now tomorrow she'll be in-duced.

When he showed up, I said to him "I thought there'd be four of you". Got an eye roll and a kick for that one.

"Is this her first child?" he asked.

"No, this is her husband."

The wife's friend got a bunch of people sick and my wife and I were at the doctors for this exchange:

Wife: Carrie was sick first, I think she gave it to the rest of us
Me: so she was the Carrie-er of the flu?
Wife: <Gives me the murder eyes>

The doctor asked my wife if she knew her blood type she said no but then I said it must be A Negative because she has A Negative personality. My wife gives me that look, the doctor rolls his eyes. The doctor then asks me if I know my blood type for some reason (http://www.betterbirth.com/site/rh-negative) I say it's B Positive, because my personality is always to B Positive. Wife puts her face in her hand, doctor chuckles.

I was getting blood work done as part of a regular check up and my wife asks "what are you getting tested?" I looked at her with a needle still in my arm, smiled and said "my blood." She groaned and went to the waiting room.

"Which doctor?" she replied.

"No, the regular kind."

"Is this her first child?" he asked. "No this is her husband"

I was convinced it was a Pull door.