Red Sea /2 = .5
I responded, "that is a prime example."
Thatβs Coleβs Law.
Ended up with pumpkin pi.
A Prime Directive
...the bugs are all in sects.
Because the autobots had Optimus Prime
Where thereβs a will, thereβs a whey.
They say it's a better way to get a tan.
She must be in-Seine!
You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.
The result was divided.
...right in front of a house where thereβs a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. Thereβs a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.
Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldnβt mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesnβt budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.
A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy heβs ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.
With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, βThank you.β
As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...
βThank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.β
The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.
"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"
The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."
Because the North has a supreme ruler.
Credit for original in a slightly different form: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/aime9b/comment/eep6eyr?st=JR8D1J43&sh=307602be
But they keep putting it back when it comes to my turn to checkout.
This joke isn't mine but it's one that makes me smile every time I think about it!
They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was
the chip monk!
2 was enjoying a special position in the sequence of numbers. It was the only even prime number. All the other even numbers existed only because 2 existed. Heck, even computers ran on base-2.
As a result, 2 looked down upon all the other numbers, but no one could do anything about it.
3 and 5 conspired against 2 and decided they needed to do something so that it lost its powers. They kidnapped 2, and through magic divided 2βs powers equally among themselves. 2 ceased to exist. 3 and 5 both increased by 1.
Looking at 2βs dead body, they said, βNow we are even.β
It's all downhill from here, kids!
You just have to know what questions they're answering, like, whatβs a tree trunk covered in, whatβs the french word for egg, how does sandpaper feel, whatβs on the top of a house, whatβs 1 divided by two
r/punpatrol
r/punKGB
r/Pun_Internal_Affairs
r/punspecialforces
These are the names of our oppressors! There may be more, but they are our greatest threat. They are currently amassing an army to try to end puns as we know it.
If we are to save this beautiful form of our language, than we must unite! We must not divide ourselves by titles, but unite ourselves as punners!
They plan on eradicating all puns by going to the source, the pun user. Are we to let ourselves be undermined by those who think they are better than us? Are we to let ourselves and all future generations be banned from puns? If you say no, then join in the revolt
##VIVA LA R/PUNS
Having dessert in Professor Snape's class? That's
Cake by the potion
Having dessert while moisturizing your skin?
Cake by the lotion
Having dessert in limine?
Cake by the motion (mine)
Having dessert along with kinetic force?
Cake by the motion (my daughter)
Having dessert while dividing it?
Cake by the quotient
Having dessert while you blow things up?
Cake by the explosion
Having dessert while you come up with an idea?
Cake by the notion
Having dessert while watching chaos?
Cake by the commotion
Having dessert next to someone who is getting a new job? Hopefully it's
Cake by the promotion
After returning home, I said to him, "How the hell do we divide it?"
Divide the circumference by its diameter.
Pumpkin Pi
Pumpkin Pi
Pumpkin pi
Pumpkin pi
Pumpkin Pi...
Pumpkin Ο
Pumpkin pi
Pumpkin Ο
Pumpkin Pi
Pumpkin Pi
Pumpkin pi
You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply
