The Divide Puns

Where there’s a will, there’s a whey.

They are calling it marks-ism

She must be in-Seine!

Pumpkin Pi...

It's all downhill from here, kids!

They say it's a better way to get a tan.

With a pair of Caesars

Red Sea /2 = .5

I responded, "that is a prime example."

That’s Cole’s Law.

2 was enjoying a special position in the sequence of numbers. It was the only even prime number. All the other even numbers existed only because 2 existed. Heck, even computers ran on base-2.

As a result, 2 looked down upon all the other numbers, but no one could do anything about it.

3 and 5 conspired against 2 and decided they needed to do something so that it lost its powers. They kidnapped 2, and through magic divided 2’s powers equally among themselves. 2 ceased to exist. 3 and 5 both increased by 1.

Looking at 2’s dead body, they said, “Now we are even.”

They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was

the chip monk!

Ended up with pumpkin pi.

Because the North has a supreme ruler.

Credit for original in a slightly different form: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/aime9b/comment/eep6eyr?st=JR8D1J43&sh=307602be

A Prime Directive

But they keep putting it back when it comes to my turn to checkout.

This joke isn't mine but it's one that makes me smile every time I think about it!

You just have to know what questions they're answering, like, what’s a tree trunk covered in, what’s the french word for egg, how does sandpaper feel, what’s on the top of a house, what’s 1 divided by two

...the bugs are all in sects.

...was having to play sports and dividing up shorts and skins.

You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply

Having dessert in Professor Snape's class? That's
Cake by the potion

Having dessert while moisturizing your skin?
Cake by the lotion

Having dessert in limine?
Cake by the motion (mine)

Having dessert along with kinetic force?
Cake by the motion (my daughter)

Having dessert while dividing it?
Cake by the quotient

Having dessert while you blow things up?
Cake by the explosion

Having dessert while you come up with an idea?
Cake by the notion

Having dessert while watching chaos?
Cake by the commotion

Having dessert next to someone who is getting a new job? Hopefully it's
Cake by the promotion

r/punpatrol

r/punKGB

r/Pun_Internal_Affairs

r/punspecialforces

These are the names of our oppressors! There may be more, but they are our greatest threat. They are currently amassing an army to try to end puns as we know it.

If we are to save this beautiful form of our language, than we must unite! We must not divide ourselves by titles, but unite ourselves as punners!

They plan on eradicating all puns by going to the source, the pun user. Are we to let ourselves be undermined by those who think they are better than us? Are we to let ourselves and all future generations be banned from puns? If you say no, then join in the revolt

##VIVA LA R/PUNS

Divide the circumference by its diameter.

After returning home, I said to him, "How the hell do we divide it?"

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by
its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

If a cylinder of mozzarella has a radius of z and a height of a what is it volume?

pi z z a

Today’s my 43rd birthday and I’m sitting st breakfast with my 8 year old. She is learning her multiplication tables and the concept of division.

Me: What numbers divide evenly into 43? Her: I’m not sure? Me: Can 43 be divided by 2?...Is it even? Her: No. Me: Correct! Since 43 is odd, we can say with confidence that it can’t be divided evenly by any even number! Can 43 be divided by 10?...Does it end in 0? Her: No. Me: Well, did you know that 43 can only be evenly divided by 1 and itself. This makes it a prime number. I guess being 43 means that I’m in my prime!

Did you know that if you take the circumference of a pumpkin and divide it by the diameter of the pumpkin you end up with pumpkin “pi”? Lololololololololol!

So I divided the data according to the ex-axis and the why-axis.

I said I was a little divided on the subject

But when the guests arrived the hosts took the alcohol and divided it among all the guests.

“What type of party is this!?” exclaimed a guest.

One of the hosts smiled and replied, “A communist party.”

Apparently his country was divided on the subject.

Divide the work amongst everyone.

Yes energy matters, but only if you you divide it by the speed of light squared.

We divided into groups and the lab was to use the measured volume and diameter of various spheres to find our own approximation of pi. So we had to use marbles and some ball bearings. We get to our station to start measuring when a girl in my group says:

Her:"Hey, where'd the blue marble go?"

Me: "I don't know. It'll be fine though, so don't... lose your marbles"

Her:nearly slaps me

I said it a few times that class, and when some other group dropped a marble down the drain I said it loud enough to get a groan from the whole class.

My husband has a bad back and ended up in the ER today from the pain. I came to get him and was wheeling him down the hallway when I stepped on a metal floor divider. I got a nasty static shock on my foot and hand pushing the wheelchair from completing the circuit.

My husband says "oh! I didn't know you were that in to music"

Me: ".......?"

Him: "You're such a great conductor!"

Pumpkin π

Pumpkin pi

Pumpkin Pi

Pumpkin π

Pumpkin Pi

Pumpkin pi

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by it's diameter?

Pumpkin Pi