Someone brought a box full of flue dirt to the formal dress gala for the chimney sweepers...

It was quite suity in there!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, β€œIf you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”

That was the punchline...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!

He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djpatientnathan
πŸ“…︎ May 07
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face."

That was the punchline.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skylly100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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My son tried coffee for the first time today and said it tasted like dirt

I told him "It was just ground this morning."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_A_Freakin_Joke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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Despite all the dirt, I finally could grab a good photo of that metal milling facility reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Constant__Pain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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First time I plowed my garden, I noticed something shiny in one of the hunks of dirt. Upon rubbing it, I found the whole hunk of dirt was shiny on the inside! I repeated this on other hunks of dirt and each one was shiny on the inside! That made me realize...

Every clod has a silver lining.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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What do you call an animal that hoards all the dirt?

A groundhog

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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The Pun Patrol thought he had me, but he didn’t get any β€œdirt” on us! imgur.com/a/E4HsWSN
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rbshag
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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I bought a desk lamp for a dirt cheap price but it broke the day after. Went to the store to complain but I couldn’t get it fixed or refunded.

The store’s manager told me that I bought a one night stand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DAY_DREAM3R
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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I was reading a book the other day and a man started adding dirt to a farmers land.

That’s the point in the book where the plot thickened.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/personGuy02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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I accused my wife of adding dirt to the garden. She denied it.

The plot thickens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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My wife keeps saying to put down the bag of dirt I'm holding.

But I'm keeping my ground

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πŸ‘€︎ u/udrys
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Why did the chicken roll around in dirt then cross the road twice?

Because he wanted to be a dirty double crosser

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pinkninja1228
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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I ate some dirt the other day.

Never again. I got so il

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, β€œIf you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”

That was the punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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