But upon further consideration he was gladiator.
Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.
"CAW! CAW!"
It was a murder most fowl!
The doctors tell me he tested positive for Corvid-19.
They’re supposed to isolate themselves from corvid nineteen.
Must've been murder suicide
B caws.
Crow: Miss, would you donate to my charity?
Woman: Why should I?
Crow: CAW CAW CAW CAW
Woman: What does that even mean?
Crow: Its four a good caws
They drank at home
A manslaughter
They were all arrested for third-degree murder.
They're the most CAWtious.
He was a Poe source of information.
... probable caws.
That crows had to do all their drinking at home.
Traffic was murder
Because he was a velcro.
It was an attempted murder.
They always resort to straw man arguments
It's a tempted murder.
They always have a buddy to scream “car, car!”
(An actual joke my dad told)
They were charged with attempted murder.
Because he committed a murder!
It's a murder investigation.
I continued, "Therefore, it's just a matter of a pinion."
An old sailor fell from the crows nest onto the deck. He survived. He was used to hardships.
It really was a murder most fowl
Caw the Cawps!
Backstory - my daughter woke up this morning telling me about her nightmare - I was driving her down a road, and kept running over crows in the road, she would look back and would see crows mourning over their friends. We had to keep driving back and forth through the same road because we kept forgetting something at home, along the way running over more crows.
I told her this joke, she didn't think it was too funny. My other daughter thought it was funny though. Now she keeps walking around saying "Caaaaw the caaaaaawps" in a high crowy voice. I'll regret telling her the joke by the end of the day.
Murder
It was caws for alarm
They've opened a murder investigation.
There’s caws for alarm.
There was concern that they might have died from Avian Flu. An avian pathologist examined the remains of the crows, and to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not avian flu. The cause of death was vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the birds beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that nearly 96% of the crows had been struck by trucks, while only 4% were car impacts.
The MTA then hired an Ornithological Behavourist to determine the reason for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills vs car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat roadkill, they have a look-out crow nearby to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah!", none could shout "Truck!"
In other words, a conspiracy of ravens premeditated a murder of crows.
Wife: What is that? Me: A dead crow. Wife: What! How did it get there? How did it die? Me: Well, I just see one, so I don't think it was a murder.....
At breakfast this morning: Dad: I was reading New Scientist, and they were looking into how crows can survive swooping in front of vehicles. Apparently they use a sentry, while another swoops in to collect the roadkill.
Me: Oh, that's pretty cool
Dad: Yeah, but they don't dodge trucks.
Me: Why's that?
Dad: well, when the sentry see the car it goes "Caaarrr, caaarrr!". But they can't say truck if they see one.
Because it sounded like a "Caw Caw Phony".
Because he was a "caw'n man"!
Probable caws.
Well you see, a Crow has 4 pinion feathers on their wings while a Raven has only 3. So really, it's just a matter of a pinion.
me: um...
dad: it's a matter of a pinion!
