A chicken crossing the road...

is poultry in motion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What did Bones say to Captain Kirk at the river crossing?

Dam it, Jim (Be gentle it’s my cake day)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I couldn't decide on which side of the road I wanted to use my loom. On the northbound side the southbound side looked better. And upon crossing to the southbound side, the northbound side looked better. The cops soon arrested me for operating under the influence.

They said I was weaving all over the road.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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While crossing the road I saw a truck, then it hit me:

Now I'm dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bart00szeq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Did you hear about the bag of sugar that was caught illegally crossing the road for the second time that day?

It was refined.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I heard someone played Animal Crossing: New Horizons for so long on end they conked out with the console still in their hands.

Looks like someone fell asleep at the Switch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlastLeatherwing
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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So I saw a group of people crossing the street tonight carrying ski stuff the one guy in the front of the group was tasked with carrying the ski poles...

So I guess you can say that they put him in pole position

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loam_Lion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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I got hit by a rickshaw while crossing the road today

I was rickrolled

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KVN_47
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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What do you call three Mexicans crossing the border?

Tres passers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garlicriiiice
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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My buddy was concerned about his chicken crossing the road.

I said his concerns are poultry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuteScrap
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Moses had a really big part in crossing the Red Sea
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Bandit_TFR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.

When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmmaTR2002
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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When crossing the road to the music store

b sharp, or b flat

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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It’s important to look both ways before crossing the street, but don’t be like your late uncle Carl...

... make sure you are looking left and right, NOT up and down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plmcalli
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thereelaman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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Family of tomatoes is crossing the street

Dad tomato, mom tomato and son tomato. Son tomato is going too slow so his dad slaps him and says ketchup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robden25
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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Just called the police on the schools crossing guard

for human trafficking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorMoon_J
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?

'You're stripping me of a job.'

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2016
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Crossing the street with my padre

We get to the crosswalk and the signal says "Wait."

My dad says 215 pounds and walks across.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaltimoreBirdGuy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2014
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A turtle was crossing the road...

...in front of our shuttle bus yesterday, on our way to a Civil War re-enactment. "He's trying to get away from the battle before it begins", said our driver.

Without missing a beat, I quipped "Yeah, he must have heard there was going to be a shelling."

Half-hearted groans were had, and my wife wanted to disappear. Success!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pacmanfan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2014
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We have a 'Cambria St' near our house. Everything we drive toward it before crossing I remind those in the car...

That we're in our Pre Cambrian era.

Groans ensue!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chargen2
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2014
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When we're crossing the street.

"I am always 'Jay' walking." - Jay, my dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lost_rocks815
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2013
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What do you call a chicken crossing the road?

Poultry in motion

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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