In the beginning, God created everything and it was exhausting.
So He created 24 hours and decided to call it a day.
My scientist friend successfully created a replica of himself, but it used such vulgar language that one day he punched it in the head and knocked it out.
Police arrested him for making an obscene clone fall.
The Orchestra shocked people when it was first created.
Especially because of all the violins.
Do you know the legend of the cat that created the universe?
It's a tail as old as time.
Heh, didn't notice the visual pun I had created while showing this buyer they are an unobservant knob till almost an hour after.
I finally created the first successful hyena/poodle hybrid
I call it the snickerdoodle
What do you call the guy who created sustainable fuel?
Scientists now believe music started playing when the universe was created…
This phenomenon is called the big band theory.
I created a new recipe the other day. Crackers with french fries on top, doused in gravy.
I call it "Poutine on the Ritz"
What was the time of day God created Adam?
The man who created the shovel
Made a groundbreaking invention
God created the worm
God: "Hey little guy!"
Worm: "Thanks for the worm welcome!"
God creates birds
The first zombie was created as an experiment.
The results were NOMinal.
How do you know toothpaste was created in the south?
Anywhere else they’d have named it teethpaste
Did you hear about the baker who created a martial art for chefs?
It's pretty sweet.
He calls it "Cook-Kido".
I created a device that points me to the nearest edible mushroom
I'm calling it my morrel compass
TIL: The long sandwich was conceived by a British mathematician in 1578, but wasn't created until 1620 by the Dutch inventor, Cornelius Drebbel, who made his first dive under the Thames.
The man who created autocorrect has died
I created this one while i was taking a dump. Why does the military loves computers ?
Because they love giving commands.
I just created an app you can use to find the nearest restroom
When you use it, it generates your I P address
God created light, then trees, then the sun, then ducks.
Salt is created in the ocean.
That's why it's considered a sea son.
The man who created the “Hokey Pokey” died recently.
The most traumatic part was when they put him in the coffin.
They put his left leg in…that’s when the trouble started.
I just created the first mind powered air freshener
When you think about it, it makes scents
Did you know about the fella that created the knock knock joke?
I just read a book about how Henry Ford created the Ford Model T.
It was a really interesting auto-biography.
Did you know that the songs, 'Rolling in the Deep', 'Set fire to the Rain' and 'Skyfall' were all created by a laptop?
The design subreddits didn't care too much for puns, hope you get a chuckle out of this poster I created. The Talon-ted Ones. Coming to a venue near you.
What's the most important invention humanity has ever created?
Ventitian blinds, otherwise it'd be curtains for us all
What did scientists call the shovel when it was first created?
A ground-breaking discovery
The guy who created the USB port died yesterday.
They were able to place the casket in the grave after the third attempt.
I was trying to create a super soldier in my lab, but I accidentally created a very thin man who could tell the future.
At least I was still able to make a slight prophet.
The science guy created a potentially world destroying acid/toxic waste
The person who created velcro has died
Guys, today I created the perfect sandwich!
Dutch crunch, ham, turkey, provolone, tomato, sprouts, and honey mustard.
Oh, sorry, wrong sub.
An Inventor in the 1800s created a device that instantly eliminated all bells in the world.
He was later awarded the Nobel prize for his scientific achievements.
edit:OC
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
Shout out to whoever created the word "plethora".
I created the world’s first bulletproof vest using pages from recycled books
Did you guys hear about the new element that was created (Ah)
How did the apple fall if gravity wasn’t created?
The ancient Romans made a lot of deadly poisons. The fourth one they created, however, just made people itchy.
In the beginning, God created time...
He created it 1 hour at a time. But after he had created 24, he called it a day.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said “I’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said “What are you going to do now?” ...
“Oh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.
The first vacuum ever created probably sucked.
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