"You wanna cook the pasta right,"
"Or I'll-dente my teeth."
Brought to you by my dad.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
One of my friends asked "what's the best way to cook an alligator?"
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︎ Sep 20 2020
An hour before 5 in the morning is the best time to cook a sweet potato.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Why Did The Cook Want to Become a Writer?
Because he wanted to flip the script!
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︎ Nov 06 2020
How does Fozzy the Bear cook his food?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
What did the lactose intolerant queen say when the cook served her mac n cheese?
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︎ Nov 17 2020
What did the cook say after making stir fry at a playground?
"It was a wok in the park."
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︎ Sep 14 2020
Why wouldn't the Army cook ever serve cake, ice cream or pies?
He was afraid of being charged with dessert-tion.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
The farmer decided to cook the meanest cow he had
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Why canβt you cook wood on the stove?
Because itβs a non-stick pan...
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︎ May 08 2020
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
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︎ Nov 20 2019
The new sailor, Leo, asked me where the ship's cook could be found.
I said, "He's in the Galley, Leo."
I swear, that guy struts around like all the planets revolve around him.
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︎ Apr 14 2020
Microwaving a TV dinner without opening the package to allow steam to escape is the best way to cook it!
It will be bursting with flavor!
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︎ Mar 24 2020
I always have the best BBQs. I cook plenty of beef, pork and chicken...
And for your convenience, it's all within the same hotdog!
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︎ Mar 08 2020
What did the line cooks call the boss?
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︎ Feb 27 2020
What does the cook say when he hears a funky song?
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︎ Nov 30 2019
I wanted to cook chicken for dinner, but I forgot to take it out of the freezer ahead of time.
It wasnβt a well thawed out plan.
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︎ Sep 05 2019
Did you hear about the Native American cook who rose up to become second in command at Bobby Flay's restaurants?
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︎ Nov 22 2019
Why were the cooks so stressed about finishing their dish?
They were running out of thyme.
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︎ Nov 12 2019
What does the Swedish Chef cook for Sunday lunch?
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︎ Oct 13 2019
What's the best temperature to cook a Ο?
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︎ Nov 08 2018
Have you heard what happened to the italian cook?
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︎ Aug 11 2019
TIL 3rd Age a Franciscan priest named Adelle, the head cook in the Mines of Moria, was known for his delicious tempura
He was rolling in the deep friar.
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︎ Sep 17 2019
Why did the Italian chef over cook his pasta?
He actually did it on acciAlDente.
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︎ May 28 2019
What did the eggs do when they saw the cook?
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︎ Jul 20 2019
I tried to cook according to a recipe but the food was bland
I should have taken it with a grain of salt
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︎ Jun 11 2019
what is the best pan to cook sushi
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︎ Sep 11 2018
Whatβs the best day to cook?
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︎ Jun 27 2019
A fastidious fry cook at a local friend chicken joint had a different cutting board for every part of the chicken....
One day he decided to get a whole new set of cutting boards from Acme Board Co. However, while doing prep for all-you-can-eat hotwings night, he dropped one of the boards and it shattered.
He said, "Well, back to the old raw wing board."
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︎ May 24 2019
Ted's wife was a horrible cook. She served mashed potatoes that were so runny, that his whole plate resembled soup. Even though she insisted that she drained the pasta, her spaghetti was so watery that the sauce ran off the plate. Ted had no choice...
...he was forced to take out a restraining order.
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︎ Jun 14 2019
The Japanese cook was having trouble with her boyfriend,
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︎ Aug 18 2018
My wife wouldn't stop nagging me about not helping cook the chicken on the grill
So I angrily got up and flipped the bird
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︎ Mar 19 2019
Whatβs the best cut of meat to cook for your latest online match?
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︎ Mar 10 2019
I got in an argument about how long to keep a roast in the oven to cook it throughout.
The whole thing got pretty heated.
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︎ Aug 14 2017
I tried to learn how to cook but never had the thyme
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︎ Jun 04 2018
A man walks into a fancy seafood restaurant with his recently deceased Siamese fighting fish and asked the chef to cook it for him
The chef told the man that he has bigger fish to fry.
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︎ Jan 12 2019
I was serving my friend a roast in my tiny shoebox apartment. He boasted that he could cook the same dish in a mere two hours...
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
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︎ Oct 10 2018
On what street does food cook the fastest?
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︎ Aug 21 2018
Why did the cook spill his soup?
Because there was a leek in the pot.
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︎ Apr 26 2018
Did you hear about the credit card for fast food cooks?
It gives them frequent frier miles!
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︎ Jul 27 2018
What's the best way to cook alligator?
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Whatβs the best way to cook an alligator?
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︎ Nov 07 2019
What's the best day to cook?
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︎ Aug 24 2017
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