Help me come up with puns which include the name Todd
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jahmelie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...

It becomes tearable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Love_and_Poop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stalnoypirat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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I come up with a really lame two word gay joke the other day that i was afraid my gay mate might find offensive

Butt willy?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josuhataylor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Somebody should come up with a name for when the sun goes down

I’m gonna call it a night

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πŸ‘€︎ u/piratecheese13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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What’s the best pun you can come up with the word β€œpelican” ?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dogefighter232
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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A Chihuahua and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Can someone come up with a pun for the name Candace?

I don't wanna go with 'Candace get any better', since she probably heard that a thousand times already. Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DurianIce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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How did the French come up with the word for egg?

Someone accidentally dropped one!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnamflah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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I glanced up, called my daughter over to the computer and said, "Hey, you like jokes right? Come here and check this one out!"

1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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How did the Canadian’s come up with the name β€œCanada”?

There was a bunch of Canadians sitting around the table and one guy suggested they start naming letters their country name should contain. One person said β€œC, eh?” A second person said β€œN, eh?” A third person said β€œD, eh?”

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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A sheepdog tells the farmer he's going to round up the sheep and comes back with 50 sheep and the farmer says "We only have 48 sheep."

The dog replies "I said I was going to round them up,"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...

"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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Yo come up with the best bread puns and dont ask rye.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrmsa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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The captain wanted all sailors of German descent to come out onto the top ship platform and line up...

It was all Hans on deck!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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What does a cow make when the sun comes up?

A shadow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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This guy comes up to me at the karaoke bar and asks, "Are you the guy who spends all night singing Neil Diamond songs?"

"I am", I said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Why can’t you stay up until the cows come home?

Because it’s pasture bedtime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juggernautx22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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Alright....time for a classic. The Ceo of Datsun was talking to his other high ranking workers when it had just been founded and said, you have 2 days to come up with a name for our company

The workers in a thick Japanese accent said DAT SOON

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BF1gamerz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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I had a guy come up to me at the store the other day as I was browsing the candy section and proclaimed "I refuse to eat Werther's originals!" Confused, I asked "Why's that?"

"I have my Riesens!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeexterminator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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A friend of mine was discouraged that they couldn't come up with dad jokes. I told them anyone can make dad jokes, you just have to stretch out the thought process a little father.
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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I tried to explain to my kids why the ball comes back down when they throw it up

But they don't understand the gravity of the situation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gone_Aria
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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The neighborhood dogs always come up to the tree in my backyard.

It's covered in bark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Olwek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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I’ve come up with a new name for the Untitled Goose Game.

Titled Goose Game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-think-Im-funny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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I was eating at a restaurant and a waiter comes up to me and asks: "How did I find the steak?"

I told him I looked underneath the parsley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NairodI
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Dad and daughter come into the restaurant I work at. He was crackin me up the whole time.

They are looking through the menu and the dad points to the falafel appetizer.

Dad: How do you pronounce that one?

Me: Falafel?

Dad: No actually I feel great! Just a little bit hungry..

Daughter: (Face palm)

.

EDIT: falafel sort of sounds like feel awful.

.

and again..

.

Dad orders his daughter a slice of cake for dessert.

Me: (to daughter) Here's your dessert. and (to the Dad) I brought you a fork in case you wanted some too.

Dad: Thanks! I love fork! (begins to pretend to eat fork)

Daughter: (absolutely mortified face of embarrassment.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riggy60
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
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Studying Spanish and these are the puns I've come up with so far.

English and Spanish.

The Trump administration is making a game out of getting Latinos out of the country, they call it deporte.

Spanish heathens have to pay extra to preforn their ceremonies. Pagan rituals

What sci-fi weapon does the King of Spain prefer? A rey-gun!

Do you know how many times anyone had to tell me how to say 'eleven' in Spanish? Once.

Exclusivamente en espaΓ±ol (PerdΓ³n por errores gramaticales)

QuΓ© comida es el mas mojado? El agua-cate

Cual comida no puede decir una mentira? La verdadura

Como se llama un libro sobra la revoluciΓ³n? Libre!

QuΓ© es exactamente una mejor que Beyonce? Beydoce

Cual animal siempre tiene un novio o novia? El Parejaro.

Cual comida es el menos diverido? Aburrito.

Sobre que papel de pelicula de Madonna no le quiere hablar? Evita!

Quiero que me digΓ‘is mas. Nunca tengo suficiente bromas!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DankOfTheEndless
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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I can't come up with a witty title and I don't wanna ruin the joke, so just look at the goddamned picture
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2015
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If Einstein hadn't come up with the Theory of Relativity, someone else would have. It was only a matter of time.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BookerGinger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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I'm going to get a job as a valet attendant, come dressed up as Spider-Man, and introduce myself as "Peter the Parker"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TISparta217
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
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What do you call a scam where folks who engage in wordplay invite others to engage in wordplay, and folks who were there longer get credit for what the newer folks come up with?

That would be a punzi scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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Astronomers got tired of waiting for the sun to come back up...

The decided to call it a night

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datboifritz113
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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People get so heated up about whether the milk comes first in tea or cereal

Personally i prefer that the tea comes first, then the milk, and then the cereal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ductxtape
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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I asked my girlfriend to come to the gym with me and she didn’t turn up

I guess the two of us aren’t going to work out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sinki7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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I was trying to get my wife to appreciate puns as much as me. I tried everything I could come up with and she didn't even crack a smile! So I googled the top 10 puns of all time. I read every single one to her trying to get her to laugh

and no pun in 10 did

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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I was wondering why the sun hadn't come up yet

Then it dawned on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/longconsilver13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
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I think my dad comes up with his best material early in the morning. imgur.com/a1mfKTn
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schismatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up?

It becomes daytrogen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Can you guys help me come up with puns with the name Elle?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i4viator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up?

It becomes daytrogen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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Any able to help come up with puns the include β€œprice”?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knord1308
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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How did they come up with the spelling for β€˜Canada’ ?

So there was a C eh, and a N eh and then a D eh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/im_a_mango
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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What does a cow make when the sun comes up

A shadow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pump_action_straw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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