Peter Brown the world famous hairdresser told his son, that he's leaving him nothing in his will....

I can't believe he's cutting off his own heir.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the Baker have brown hands?

He kneaded a poo.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Borguschain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Did you hear about the brown nose reindeer?

He’s the one who can’t stop on time.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I was telling my friend that brown rice is the same as white rice, but with a criminal record....

He thinks I'm a riceist for saying that.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What did the sexy brown chicken say to the sexy brown cow?

Brown-chicken-brown-cow

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiTro_Erebus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker have brown fingers?

He neaded a poo

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lawsonator85
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...

No, pigs do that!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball_hawk15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Dad: Did you hear the joke about farmer brown? Me: No

Dad: Well maybe I’ll tell you someday

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PublicThinker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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What's brown and swings from the belltower?

The lunch bag of Notre Dame

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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I bought a car that can only be driven when the leaves are brown...

It's an autumn mobile.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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The girl at chipotle asked if I like white or brown rice

I told her that she’s rice-ist

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoeJascoe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl shouldn’t be a metaphor for pooping

It should be a metaphor for constipation

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/36chambersoffun
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What is brown, and runs round the garden?

Fence.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlaMenck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Dad: β€œI like to have my shoes match my pants. For instance, my brown shoes go well with my blue pants and my black shoes go well with my gray pants. My stripper heels on the other hand...”

β€œ...don’t go with anything.”

My dad never makes β€œdad jokes” but, he actually said this yesterday and I’m so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueholeload
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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You know the what's brown and sticky. Well what's black and bad for your teeth?

A bowling ball

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Panda2377
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a brown noser and a butt kisser?

Depth perception.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BTho2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.

That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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A wild brown rabbit recently became the world's first non-human creature to be charged with a crime and arrested.

Authorities claim he was found to be disturbing the peas.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hell2go
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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Did you hear about Bert the brown nosed reindeer?

He's second behind Rudolph but can't stop as quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mahamrap
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
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Why did the baker have brown palms?

Because he kneaded a poop!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emmyface23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If you could choose either the blue belt or a brown belt, which would you choose?

You can't take both. You can taekwondo.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/milestokilometers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The other day my friend was talking nonstop about how he didn’t like brown rice

So I told him to stop being ricest

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRedSpy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
As my friend Richard sat at my dining room table, I went to the kitchen and poured him a glass of milk and mixed in some brown powder from the yellow box in the pantry. That is how...

...I got Rich Quick.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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Did you hear about the brown bear that had a heart attack while being detained?

It was a Kodiak arrest.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConasviM
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I've been trying to force open my car door to get my drab, light-brown shorts for the past hour now...

...I left my khakis on the front seat.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManxLynx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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I suffer from the persistent delusion that I'm striped brown, white, and pink.

It's called a Neapolitan complex.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
🚨︎ report
If I had known that this subreddit existed, I would've shared the tale of Brown Paper Bart with you long ago.

A man is riding his horse through the desert, and, well, he starts to get thirsty. He sees a small town off in the distance, so he sets off in that direction to get some water for his horse and some whiskey for hisself.

Well, as he gets into that little town he starts to notice something peculiar. Not a soul is out. Sun's setting, but still plenty of light. Water in the horse troughs tells him it ain't a ghost town, but folks ain't comin' out for some reason.

Now, as soon as he turns onto the town's main street, he sees a soberin' sight; the sheriff, on a ladder, hammering the last nail into a brand new gallows. He sidles his horse on up to the sheriff and says, "Pardon me sheriff. I don't mean to pry, but pray tell, who're them gallows fer?"

The sheriff looks around, surprised to see someone out. He steps down, takes off his hat and scratches the back of his head thoughtfully, before replying, "Well, I reckon you must be a stranger in these parts. I reckon then that you ain't never heard of Brown Paper Bart. Anyway, we're lynchin' him come sunrise."

"Brown Paper Bart? I reckon not, sheriff. That's a mighty peculiar name, pray tell, whaddaya call him Brown Paper Bart fer?"

"Wayill, I reckon we call him Brown Paper Bart on account 'a the fact that everything he wears is made a' brown paper. His hat's made a' brown paper, his boots is made a' brown paper. His chaps is made a' brown paper, his neckerchief's made a brown paper. Heck dang shoot, even his lunch bag is made a' brown paper!"

The man looks at the sheriff a moment, perplexed, before replying, "Well, sheriff, I reckon that's a mighty peculiar thing for a man to do, but that don't explain these brand new gallows. Pray tell, what're you lynchin' Brown Paper Bart fer?"

[Insert a dad-length pause here.]

"...Rustlin'."

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malenkylizards
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
🚨︎ report
What did Rihanna do about the Chris Brown abuse?

[rihmoved]

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Why were the baker's hands brown?

Because he needed a poo

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wastecadet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
🚨︎ report
My sister: "What's the difference between white eggs and brown eggs?"

My dad: "Colour."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_22766
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisispeculiar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker have brown hands?

He kneaded a poo.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forest-of-ewood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegravybaron
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What's brown and swings from the bell tower ?

The lunch bag of Notre Dame

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/locoenglazy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the Baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scuba-schmike
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between an ass kisser and brown noser?

Depth perception

πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajmansell
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
🚨︎ report

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