The iPhone vs Android debate has to stop!

It's too devicive.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KlydesHail
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
It was about rape so the pun is better. Original post https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/bq2qvn/peta_parent_freaks_out_at_my_animal_abusing_ways/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFluDisease
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The news about Android banning Huawei is sad. But I know Huawei can fix this.

If there’s a will, there’s Huawei.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The next Android OS should be called Android Orange because then choosing between smartphones would be like apples and oranges
πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/averyweirdfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Helsinki
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LMgamer36
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 144
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do the Hong Kong police wake up early?

To beat the crowd.

Edit: All credit goes to u/AleoMoorea, who posted it here.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Donald, Duck" anymore when the president is about to be attacked

But their grandchildren still listen, in spite of rule 4, because hearing dear old grand-da be excited about his stories is just so sweet, whether he remembers tellin them or not

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
+ 24 others

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The__Odor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
People say that dad jokes aren't very clever.

But then I look back on the post that I have saved from a year ago that says otherwise.

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/picturelife
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my glasses

I will find you, I have contacts

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAccountofBrian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do stormtroopers only have iPhones?

They couldn’t find the Androids they were looking for.

πŸ‘︎ 191
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Patfan74
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What's upstairs?

Unfortunately, the stairs don't talk.

I'll give credit where credit is due.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UnlovedHustle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Who's the main character in the legend of Zelda?

[Link] (https://www.google.com/search?q=image+of+the+word+gottem&oq=image+of+the+word+gottem&aqs=chrome..69i57j33l3.5289j0j9&client=ms-android-htc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=_qE-mtWpN0cj1M)

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neoraydm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What would happen if the US suddenly switched to the metric system?

There'd be mass confusion

(Inspiration: https://www.reddit.com/r/monkeyspaw/comments/cy1td0/i_wish_the_usa_would_finally_switch_to_the_metric/eypnk65?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatTheoGuy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A simple spelling mistake brings out the best of Reddit.

Ah - the good ol' Mazda meowta

https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/9sgqbx/car_vs_dragons/e8oni93?utm_source=reddit-android

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PJozi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
This belongs here.

My favorite memory of my parents is going to some...

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ar90mx/whats_the_dumbest_thing_your_significant_other/eglz2pb?utm_source=reddit-android

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to attend a seminar for kleptomaniacs.
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubixninja314
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
A frog walks into a bank

A frog walks into a bank. The teller says 'Hi, I'...

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/adqq9x/what_is_the_funniest_joke_you_know_by_heart/edkyl7k?utm_source=reddit-android

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gondor4ever
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
"I've never seen that before"

I use Stocard for Android so I don't have to keep track of physical rewards cards. It works with Android Wear so the cashiers just have to scan the barcode on my wrist. Every single time:

"I've never seen that before!"
"It comes in handy."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/accountnumber3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiot's house

Knock-Knock

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.