How do I determine the cost of a balloon after adjusting for inflation?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fawkes_1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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I'm in the process of adjusting the clocks in my house

Now all my rooms but the kitchen sync.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunMathematician1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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My neighbour was a selling a speaker system for just $1. When I asked him why it was so cheap he told me that you cant adjust the sound, the volume is stuck at the loudest setting.

I said "Wow, I cant turn that down"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Bob Dylan came to my house the day after Daylight Savings and adjusted all of my clocks.

He said the times they were a-changin’.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bjlind718
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Tinder is finally adjusting to the quarantine.

They've started offering curbside pickup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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I recently adjusted the angle of the mirror in my bathroom

It has given me a new perspective

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πŸ‘€︎ u/martb03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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If you’re trying to get your point across about something, try adjusting the decibel level of your voice up and down while talking.

It will speak volumes to people.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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What does Nostradamus do when he has a vision of a happy, well-adjusted gentleman living far in the future?

Foresees a jolly good fellow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VoyagerCSL
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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As we were pulling out of our driveway and I was adjusting the mirrors, I said to my wife, "It's important to remember, there's side view, rear view and you know what else?"

"I loview!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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Saw my wife adjusting the top soil while gardening.

Me: This looks like a great detective novel.

Her: What?

You: You know. The plot thickens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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Co-worker was talking about getting her atlas adjusted at the chiropractor

I told her that when my atlas hurts, I just shrug it off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabeanzelini
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
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Got my coworkers the other day.

I recently started a new job as a claims adjuster.

I turned to my coworker the other day and asked "do you know how I got this job?.......I CLAIMED it!"

Cue the eye rolls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FutureLamp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2015
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An older man took his wife to the hospital, fearing a heart attack

The man waits for a while and the doctor comes out to tell his findings. The doctor says, "Your wife did not have a heart attack. She just has acute angina."

Adjusting his hearing aid, the husband says, "Listen here young man, don't go talking about my wife's privates like that! I know she's cute down there!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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24 Feb 2017, Revised Rules and meta-state of /r/puns

Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

I've been very busy with personal stuff for the past few weeks, so I've let this subreddit drift unattended. Reading some of the reports and comments after coming back makes me realize that my absence led to some unwanted events happening!


Let's start with the fun stuff: We now have a new fancy rulebook! If you suspect a post of breaking these rules, feel free to report it in the relevant category, or use (8) other if you suspect it to slip through the cracks of one of the other rules.

Secondly, as of right now, we do not have an explicit rule forbidding inflammatory subjects like race, politics, etc, as the rest of reddit seems to be melting down, but so far we remain unscathed. I wish to let you all crack puns like adults without having to put on training wheels, but if any of the above subjects become a problem then I will swiftly revisit this. Consider this a privilege, not a right, and do try to avoid abusing it! Piggybacking off this, any post that is more 'lewd' than PG should be NSFW tagged. If it is inappropriate for an office setting, I will manually NSFW it, and repeat offenders will have consequences.

Third, you can now request puns! start a self post with [request] and put in whatever information is necessary, such as "[request] puns about clocks".


I'll keep this post stickied for about a week or so, to keep it as a nice feedback net, and we can adjust rules, add/delete/modify them as needed, to keep our subreddit of lovely puns in peak condition!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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Dad Joke a Guy at Work

I helped out a manager at another area of my work place, bringing a leveler to adjust a table. After I finished, I was walking back to my work area when I noticed a guy who works there had his dinner out in a sealed Tupperware.

This guy has been on a food diet for some months. I walk up to him, place the level atop of his Tupperware. When the bubble rests in between the lines, I tell him "Looks like you're maintaining a well-balanced diet." He shook his head at me and I continued on my way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DD225
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
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Dad-joked my boyfriend about our new pet today

We recently adopted a rabbit and the shelter had named him Justin. We wanted to rename him and it's since been a running joke since Justin is, in our opinion, not a very rabbit-like name. He was also really skittish and we've been working in socializing with him. So today (day 6) my boyfriend asks me:

"So would you say he is adjusted yet?"

To which I replied, "No, he's a-justin" (adjusting)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kubricks_cube
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2014
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My Dad pulled a TWSS.

We were at Visionworks yesterday getting my glasses prescription updated, and I was talking to the saleswoman about glasses care.

"Should I buy one those little frame screwdriver kits? In case my lenses fall out or the frame busts?"

"Well, Laff_Like_Peter, I think that's a bad idea. Those kits are flimsy, and the screw heads break off all the time. Getting your frames adjusted is free if the come in, I wouldn't feel right selling you those useless kits. Come on in if your frames have an accident, I'll give you a good screw".

My Dad, who was sitting quietly next to me, pipes up "Better be careful with what you say". The saleswoman was mortified.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laff_Like_Peter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2014
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My dad made a subtle joke while he started to teach me how to drive.

On the way out to the car he said we'll be "going through the motions". I was like okay, he says that fairly often.

When I got out there I got in the drivers seat and adjusted it for myself. And then told me to press on the gas (car is off), brake, gas, braje, etc. then he made me practice looking out the mirrors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seanster141
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
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Broke the ice with a girl in my class today

I was sitting in my philosophy class before it started and this girl walked in. She said she was looking for a left-handed desk since all the desks were adjusted to the right side. She finally gave up and sat next to me. I kind of mumbled to myself but loud enough for her to hear and said "It's the right supremacy." She looked over and gave a chuckle while rolling her eyes which was better than I expected.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDearDeerHunter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2014
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