I had a very good math teacher. He was an integral part of my life. It doesn’t add up that I can’t remember who he was.
He is a real Mister Riemann.
Did you hear the one about the secret agent that was captured behind enemy lines with a sheepdog as part of his disguise?
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
So what if I'm not part of a culturally similar indigenous peoples inhabiting the Arctic regions of Greenland, Canada and Alaska that speaks a language that is part of the Eskimo–Aleut family.
I could try harder to be, but I guess I'm just not Inuit.
Few people know that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts.
What do you call a baker that’s part of the LGBTQ community?
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...
With friends like that, who needs anemones?
If you were born between December 22nd and January 20th then that means you're a part of the
My husband made told a friend that “we” had a baby. I told him “What do you mean ‘we’? You only did the easy part.”
He responded, “Yeah, you.”
The worst part about driving a beat up old car is worrying that it could break at any time.
Or worse, that it might not.
I read that Russia opposes Israel's annexation of parts of the West Bank, well Putin can just go Crimea river
I went to the computer shop and told them our family computer has an internal part that has stopped working
The shop assistant said, "Motherboard?"
I said, "Yeah, she can't do online shopping anymore"
After you die, what’s the last part of your body that stops working?
Your Pupils. They dilate.
They say that the most important part of a joke is timing...
...But I've always thought it was pun-tuality.
Trump is convinced that pigeons are part of the Deep State...
He overheard one saying, "coup, coup".
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Jackie Chan recently announced that they have received the surgery to transition from male to female. Though, despite this, the most shocking part of this interview was her saying she will no longer be doing her own stunts.
She just doesn’t have the balls anymore
So I just heard that the two main characters from the previous Men In Black movies are going to have major parts in the upcoming sequel!
There are two types of people in this world: those that can extrapolate the missing part of a set.
Did you hear about the guy that tried to file a lawsuit against the left part of his body?
It was attempted sue-a-side.
Did you guys hear about the man that walked into a convenience store naked, balancing on the rounded parts of his feet near the base of his toes, juggling 3 globes, and somehow managed to rob the place?
This guy that used part of his foot to steer a boat has written a book about himself.
People that hand make wool sweaters are part of a tight knit group.
When I was helping my dad rewire part of the house he told me that he could tell that a convict had done the old electrical work.
When I asked why he showed me a bundle of wires and said, "It's all confused."
What's the worst part about a well advertised party that no one attends?
It's all buildup with no punchline.
I'm furious that all these replacement parts I bought for my water bottle only damaged it more.
This was the last straw that broke the CamelBak.
Today I accidentally swallowed part of a tooth that broke.
I hope it doesn't end up biting me in the ass.
Our family went on a long hike, and our youngest son kept slipping and falling. My wife comforted him, saying, "Don't worry, honey, after we get through this snowy part it's all cake after that." "Don't believe a word she says," I interjected...
"There's no cake, it's all just rocks and dirt."
I read a study that divorce is a part of evolution.
Something about the single-arity.
Of all parts of a cow, the tongue is the one that tastes the best...
This is due to the many taste receptors over it.
Moses was a terrible actor. He only ever got one part. That bush, on the other hand, was straight up lit.
Your bullying neighbor next door decided that the part of your yard with his favorite tree in it is his yard now? Oh, boo hoo...
I used to be part of a worldwide clandestine organization that sold adult toys made from lightweight metal.
We called ourselves “The AluminumNaughty”
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