At least my heart was in the right place.
Try this on for sighs.
My carer says I should be able to try the spoon tomorrow.
I’ve developed a new AI and taught it to identify any porno ever made just from the cum shot
I’ve called it facial recognition
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
He really gets a kick out of it.
Lucille: “I have to get Dusty ice cream.” GF: “Dusty ice cream doesn’t sound very good”
A pop quiz!
(I don’t know why this makes me giggle)
I still have flashbacks
"No, I always dress like this", I replied.
You know, cos Pa's tense.
They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking
I'm going to call it leave me the fuh cologne
but it does give me paws.
I blame the horse. He could have said neigh.
Turns out I can’t focus!
They send electricity through your nerves to see the response time. I was shocked to find out I have carpel tunnel syndrome.
"I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
A lot of the questions I was stumped on.
A stimulus check.
Ian
so it's an ex-spearmint.
You get a womb with a view.
No, there is a vas deferens between them.
A subreddit.
Only driven from time to time.
He was panakin
But it was a typo.
Doctor: I'm afraid you've tested positive for herpes.
Patient: I knew that one of these days I'd end up with a fungal infection.
Doctor: Actually, it's viral.
Patient: Yeah, but I got it from a fun gal.
Nobody got higher than me.
If it sinks it’s a girl ant. If it floats however...
It was a lambikini
A heroine addict
I just don't see the point.
It was about time.
Turns out, my house is pregnant.
Turns out I'm dyslexic and lacrosse intolerant
They passed anyway
They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking.
.. really only driven from time to time.
Nobody got higher than me.
Nobody got higher than me.
It was a lamb bikini
