My friend keeps telling me to cheer up man, it could be worse. You could stuck underground in a hole full of water
Me: Hey girl, tell me that you are not interested in carrying any further conversation with me without telling me that
Why you always telling us the dad jokes?
What do you tell your voice assistant when she won't stop telling dadjokes?
My girlfriend said :- You got vasectomy without even telling me . Are you serious ?
I said :- I am not kidding you
If you have trouble believing someone is telling the truth or not; ask them if they like big butts
I thought about telling you guys a joke about synaesthesia ...
but I don’t think you’d see it
What do you call a fortune telling midget who just escaped from prison?
Physician: So you’re telling me that you have an obsession with a certain file type in Microsoft Office?
Don't ever listen to anyone telling you that you can't be something you want to!!.....
Everyone told Beethoven too that he can't be a musician just because he was deaf........
Did He Listen???!!
LPT: When you are telling a joke to identical twins, make sure you say the entire joke.
Because it isn’t easy to tell them a part.
My wife yelled, “You got a vasectomy without telling anyone! Are you kidding me?”
Just heard a grocery store manager telling off a young guy on the checkout. “Why’d you ask that woman with kids for ID? What was she buying?”
My wife: Why don’t you stop telling terrible Dad jokes and write a book instead?
Me: That’s.....a novel idea.
What do you call telling someone your sad in dots and dashes?
Morose code
Shout out to u/thelifesponge for inspiration on this one!
What do you call a joke-telling hard-to-see reptile?
An old man was telling his friend about his new hearing aid, "the greatest in the world!" "You can hear a pin drop."
Friend: Wow! What kind is it?
Old man: quarter past 2.
What do you called a vegetable-based fortune telling card?
Kids, I'm telling you, burgers are ALWAYS female, and I'll prove it to you
let me introduce you to my burger... *drumroll*
Meet patty
Let me begin by telling you a little bit about myself..
It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'...
Did you hear about the Toronto Mafia Boss known for telling bad jokes?
The call him The Stand Up Canadian.
You know the problem with telling chemistry jokes?
When someone says “Hold your horses”, they’re telling you to be stable.
I’m going to be telling a dad joke so just so you know
It’s gonna be quite apparent
What do you call telling a joke to a room full of stoned german women
"Why do you keep telling me to do chores when I'm watching Star Wars?"
"Why are you telling me this story about a male hen?" I asked the bartender, confused.
He just looked at me and replied, "You asked for a cock tale, sir."
I hate those people who come and pound on your door, telling you to get out or you’ll burn.
When telling dad jokes/puns, do you prefer your victims to laugh or groan?
I personally prefer horrible puns that make the listener regret being born with ears. But thats just me.
(OC) Samurai: So you're telling me
You can kill someone by throwing this pointy metal star at them?
Ninja: shuriken.
When we first met you said you liked month puns and now you're telling me you never did...
Why July in the first place?
Did you hear about the fortune-telling little person that escaped prison?
He’s a small medium at large.
My daughter finished telling me the “7 ate 9” joke and I said “You shouldn’t tell math jokes,”
”you’re greater than that.”
So you're telling me like the verb ring has second form rang and sing has sang, the verb think also works the same way? Well, no thanks.
Did you know that cats are the most likely animal to suffer from chronic pain? Apparently they've been telling us all along.
Son: “Dad, why do you keep telling dad jokes?”
Son: “Dad, why do you keep telling dad jokes”
Dad: “well you see son, once you become a dad, you’re stuck in an endless cycle of working from dusk to dawn to pay your mortgage and bills. There’s no more sex or passion with your mom. Dad jokes are my one attempt to keep humor in my life”
Son: “But Dad, you can —“
Dad: “you could say I’m “Dad” inside” weeps
I was thinking of telling you my best pizza joke...
Telling Dad jokes when you don't have children is a faux pa
You keep telling me to check my grammar
I tell you one last time that she's in the kitchen cooking and doing just fine.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
Telling someone that you work in IT support can be such a turn off...
And then a turn on again.
My friend keeps telling me ''Cheer up, it could be worse, you could be stuck in a hole full of water''
Her: You got a vasectomy without telling anyone! Are you kidding me?
What do you call a fortune telling dwarf who escapes from prison?
One of my friends keeps telling me “It could be worse, you could be quarantined underground, in a hole full of water.”
Wife: You got a vasectomy without telling me. Are you serious??
Me: Yes, I’m not kidding you.
Wife: You got a vasectomy without telling me. Are you serious??
Me: Yes, I’m not kidding you.
My best friend keeps telling me to “cheer up man. It could be a lot worse, you could be stuck in an underground hole filled with water”
A man got a vasectomy without telling his wife. When she finds out about it, she is livid. "Are you serious?" She screams.
"Yes, I'm not kidding you."
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