"Waiter, this boiled egg tastes funny"

"Don't ask me madam. I only laid the table. "

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Not many people know this, but Boy George had a taste for exotic and somewhat illegal Indian cuisine...

His favourite was the Korma Chameleon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: Does this milk taste funny.

Kid: sips milk yeah a little.

Dad: frowns Must be clowns milk.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StormtrooperMJS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!

Yes sir, it's fresh ground!

EDIT: taken from Jokeriot

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I baked, this time I added a hint of spice (It tastes better than it looks)
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmethystMonkey
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œThis coffee tastes like dirt!”

β€œWell it was just ground this morning.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaxxisR
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
2 cannibals were eating a clown. 1 looked at the other and said β€œDoes this taste funny to you?”
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urbanoutdoorsnyc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
This beer tastes like ass!

Butt still...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StaleTheBread
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
This chocolate dessert tastes awful.

It's off-pudding.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Excuse me, this coffee tastes like dirt

Of course it does, it's fresh ground.

Edit: This, of course, is an Amazon Echo dad joke. It's a rock solid piece of machinery.

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuzzWeedle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2015
🚨︎ report
This water tastes fishy.

There is dolphin-nity something wrong with it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheeserox3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2015
🚨︎ report
I’m gutted I couldn’t go to the cheese tasting event this week

I heard it was a really fondue

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nymphomanius
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
From all tubed meat I have tasted, this one was really bad.

It was the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaystibelman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad, I need help writing a sentence using the word "irony."

Try this : I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heavyduty1930
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Honey, I think you did something backwards with the carnitas...

...this pork tastes like krop.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw this gem in a tasting room.
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Treezle737
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Wife: β€œThis morning’s breakfast tasted like crap.”

Husband: β€œIt wasn’t crepe, it was toastered.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jadekinsjackson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
An unemployed engineer opens a clinic..

An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail."

A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.

Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "This is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.

Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back.

Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak."

Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note.

Doctor: "But this is $500..."

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."

πŸ‘︎ 389
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tonheatz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Free chocolate slogan

"This is the best chocolate I have ever tasted"

Eats entire bar in two bites

"Bar, none"

You're welcome big chocolate...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arrakis_Surfer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A man ate the Reddit servers.

Afterwards, he said, β€œMmm, this copypasta tastes good!”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/natopotatomusic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Ground coffee

A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out.

He turns to the waiter and says, β€œWaiter! This coffee tastes like mud!”

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the gentleman and says, β€œBut, sir, it’s fresh ground!”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A man makes fresh coffee and takes it to his wife in bed....

She drinks it and goes: β€œUgh, this tastes like dirt.”

He responds: β€œWell, honey, it was just ground.”

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/errorFohOhFoh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Channel Shark News

I wrote a little skit for my grandkids let's see how much I remember. CHUM 8 news Ted Hammerhead reporting with sky Chompter traffic report. Top story, a lone shark, who is a loan shark is alone in the dark making loans to sharks! There is a new place to gamble, the place is full of sharks who turn out to be card sharks playing card games with sharks on the cards. Imagune the dogs playing poker for this story, but it's sharks. The other reporter asks Ted Hammerhead how he did on his recent drivers test, Ted responds "nailed it". Crime scene where a clown has been killed and the Detective states, " No way a shark did this as they taste funny". On a comment about the victim. I never did the weather or figured out names for the other reporters we used to laugh and laugh at my stupid puns.

Edit: I can't spell fixed typos

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phroedrick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What does clownfish taste like?

It probably tastes funny.

Something my son actually asked and without thinking, I responded. I blame this sub.

πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverMuchLoveOT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why fart and waste it...

..When you can burp and taste it. (My friend's dad said this)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dovydasmusic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A murderer who had poisoned his victims with iron supplements eventually and inadvertantly poisoned himself.

When he realized his mistake, he immediately called the police and confessed to all of the killings before laying down upon his death bed awaiting his own end, the same end that he had inflicted upon so many others. News media quickly came to the hospital and the killer was eventually asked two questions by two seperate reporters, one question following the other so quickly that he could not respond to the first before hearing the second. The first reporter asked, "How did the coffee taste that tipped you off into realizing you had poisoned yourself?" Where the second reporter blurted out, "How would you describe this situation where you have killed yourself by the very means you used to kill others?"

The murderous man only responded once before breathing his last breath:

"Irony," he replied.

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BholeFire
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend got me with this one she made up today: "What did Popeye say at the end of the poetry slam?"

"I'VE HAD ALL I CAN STANZA AND CAN'T STANZA NO MORE!"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strangefool
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2015
🚨︎ report
"Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud?"

"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

πŸ‘︎ 453
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!

Waiter: But it was ground this morning.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/visionweaver
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: "This coffee tastes like dirt."

Dad: "That's because it was ground this morning."

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œWaiter, this coffee tastes like MUD!”

β€œOh really? Well, it was GROUND this morning.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mc1nc4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
This coffee tastes like dirt

Well it was fresh ground this morning

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i-right-i
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Two Cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other "Does this taste funny?"
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/z-2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2015
🚨︎ report
two cannibals are eating a clown, when one says to the other...

"does this taste funny to you?"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weendul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Two hyenas were eating a clown

One looks at the other and says β€œdoes this taste funny to you?”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hipphazy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One looks at the other and says: "Does this taste funny to you?"

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee.

The man take a sip and spits it out. He turns to the waiter and says,

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!"

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the man and says,

"But sir, it's fresh ground!"

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:

β€œDoes this taste funny to you?”

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hibah_sadiq
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Two cannibals are eating a Clown. One says to the other...

...”Does this taste funny to you?”

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sizzlingmaniac69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do cannibals call clowns

Happy meals...

Jk they don’t eat clowns because they taste funny

Edit: if this has already been posted tell me and I’ll remove it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZianTurner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My 5 y/o dadjoked me

Son: This candy taste like life.

Me: What?

Son : Because it is hard.

I have no idea where he got that concept from.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Just Reversed-DadJoked My Dad With A Classic

Dad: "I'm hungry." Me: "Hi hungry I'm son!" Me: "How did the reverse dad joke feel?" Dad: "No Comment."

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sillysquid101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
🚨︎ report

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