How do you sleep at night?
After four days of nothing to eat I was delirious from starvation. In my desperation I went hunting for the first thing that looked remotely appetizing. Soon I stumbled upon an indigenous macaque, and with a focused throw of my spear I skewered it in one hit.
Only half the battle was over, though. I had no idea what to do with this corpse. I've cooked easy things like beef, poultry, and pork but never a monkey. Fortunately, a wandering traveler came by, so I asked him how I should prepare it. He said, "That's easy. Just boil the monkey. Nice and fast." Then he left.
While it did sound easy, boiled meat usually doesn't taste good. However, another wandering traveler soon meandered by, so I asked him what to do. He said, "If you're patient and want good flavor, slowly spit roast the monkey over a fire." He then walked away.
That sounded much better, but I was too hungry to wait that long. As fate would have it, a third wandering traveler sauntered by, so I asked for his advice. He said, "If you're pressed for time but still want something delicious, then skin the monkey, render its fat, and deep fry the meat in its own fat." He went on his way.
I had three unique options to pick from, and while I hadn't immediately chosen one I definitely learned something new:
There's no wrong way to eat a rhesus.
Friday
The Upper Midwest
This is because there are more birds on that side.
The ruler.
He is all right now
A Wrap-tor!
So when they come back to port they can… Scandinavian
The outside
They would call it crucifact.
But that’s a whisk I’m willing to take.
We got a long well.
The car dealer prepares it, and when the snail comes in for the car he asks “why the letter ‘S’ on the side?”
The snail replies “I want people to see me and say ‘Wow! Look at that S Car Go!’”
I responded "How ex-SIDING"
The next day, the janitor had to clean up a bunch of ducked tape.
He really wished they’d had the balls to play the normal way.
My therapist is becoming concerned about all this pent-up rage.
Yeah, we could never see eye-to-eye.
"This thing does have airbags, right?"
Long story short, he’s all right now
That way I can comfortably turn over in my grave.
They were probably stuck in the high seas.
Big Banks Theory
She would’ve become Lukes Sithter
He said, “It’s pretty boring.”
They call him the Sysco Kid
It's because there are more birds on that side.
He is all right now.
