Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?

They forgot the punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Why was the stick figure arrested?

He was sketchy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimple007
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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As a kid, I could never figure out how to stick two Legos together.

But one day, it clicked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriedPotatoWizard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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My dad yesterday. I figured it was best represented by an enthusiastic stick figure. imgur.com/jOB7HeK
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whatadaydanny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
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When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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There was a suspicious β€˜accident’ at a construction site. The police investigated all the workers at the job site . . .

It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.

Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty_Entendre
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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[Meta] Can anyone think of a good dad joke gift idea?

I wanted to make my Dad a chainsaw for Christmas, but I'm not sure if we have the saw and I don't want to ruin a perfectly good chain for it.

Can anyone think of another dad joke gift, like a quarter pounder with cheese?

EDIT: I did the quarter-pounder with cheese. I used little rubber bands, (The kind kids make bracelets from) popsicle sticks and a rolled-up piece of sturdy paper. If anybody wants to make it, let me know and I'll go into more detail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ancel3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2015
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Need A Pun Joke! Going to be in a spelling bee, need a name.

I figured who better to ask about a silly pun than the good folks over here at /r/dadjokes? I'm going to be in a spelling bee and I need a good name that matches up with a good costume theme. To give examples these are my two previous iterations:

"Punktuation" - Dressed as punk rockers

"Bee Me Up, Scotty!" - Dressed as Star Trek officers

If anyone has a good idea let me know and I will post pics from the event on October 24th. If you don't care to help then...umm...continue being dads.

EDIT FOR CLARITY: People are making some great suggestions for names, but I should have clarified that this is for a team of 3 people. So proper names are not really going to work...stick to the format I have described in this post!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexpressed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
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