What would be funny to engrave on a bottle opener for a soon to be new dad?

I am buying him a bottle opener before I go back stateside (USMC) and cannot figure out what to get engraved on it. He is kinda stale, so dry sense of humors welcome!

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👤︎ u/deeeeeds
📅︎ Oct 02 2019
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Got dadjoked in the pub

[Note: I'm British. Doesn't work so well stateside]

Some older bloke knocks his phone onto the floor and doesn't seem to notice/care.
Me: Excuse me, mate. You dropped your phone.
Him: No, I didn't. It's a mobile phone. Goes around on its own.

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👤︎ u/MrSquigles
📅︎ Dec 21 2014
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