Q. What language do stomachs speak?

A. Hungarian 🀣🀣

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DudeManDude__
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Who do the Spice Girls speak to when they have an issue with one another?

Cumin Resources

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T33NW01F
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
A soldier is called in to speak to a sergeant...

The sergeant says: "I didn't see you today in the camouflage test"

"That's the idea, Sergeant"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Fishy_Boi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you ever wandered why it takes the President so long to complete a sentence when he speaks?

I guess he’s just Biden his time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Play2Win1776
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I have 10 pet geese,out of which 8 speak perfect English.

The last two are Portuguese.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Hi, I can speak parrot!

Hi, I can speak parrot!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/battlerobot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Which language do Mexican snakes speak?

Hisssss-panic

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What language does an unhappy toddler speak?

Whine-ese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GovernorZipper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.

This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxyCamoCat738
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
The owner of the Indianpolis Colts will be in trouble if he has to speak in court, because no matter what he says the judge will think...

That's Irsay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dawsonju
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I taught my cat to speak and ask her why does she hate vacuum cleaners.

β€œThey suck” said the cat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redpandarox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can’t an egg speak publicly?

He cracks under pressure

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I believe I speak for almost all of us here

*Good morning *Buenos dias *Bonjour *Guten Morgen *Boungiorno *Bom dia *God morgon *Selamat pagi *Goedemorgen *God morgen *Dobroye utro

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
A Jonathan Galindo but can speak multiple languages

Jonathan Duolingo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EricTung1007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I need to speak with the chair
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What state in the US speaks Japanese?

Ohio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redzzdelady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I called to speak to my doctor and the receptionist asked "May I ask who's calling?"

I replied "Yes you may, go right ahead and ask"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What language do garbage collectors speak?

Trash Talk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Two people agreed to never speak to each other secretly

It was an unspoken agreement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanUHekkinStahp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I speak in simplified fractions

Half of what I say makes sense

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DongLongus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
LeBron speaks Spanish v.redd.it/74hjmaf7ygi51
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobbyBBabby
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
At what time of the year do women speak the least?

February. It has the least days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dvtien95
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A person who cannot see is known as blind, a person who cannot speak is known as mute. So, what do you call a person who cannot hear?

Anything you want to call them, they cannot hear.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you speak Spanish?

A) No

B) A little

C) SeΓ±or

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tommadds
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StoppingMusic21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a car that wants to speak to the manager

A McKaren

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetchupTheTomato
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If you make dad jokes, what language do you speak?

Pun-Jabi

proceeds to the nearest exit

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthatbrownguy91
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Ah yes. I can speak mandarin too
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Sorry,I don’t speak Mandarin.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Autism--_--
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?

Because anything more than one is murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeslaFan900
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
i speak eight different languages

7 of the languages is 10 out of 10 but my German is 9

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 663
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.

You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my kid I can speak to him on so many levels

...before we got off the elevator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UndeadNineKills
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t speak or understand French.

Such is life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the microbiologist who traveled to 30 countries and speaks 6 languages?

He was a wise man of many cultures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you speak two languages and start losing vocabulary in both of them?

Byelingual

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
sorry i don't speak mandarin
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coderedcody
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My brother and his wife won’t speak to me following their gender reveal party.

Apparently it refers to the baby.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
This just speaks for itself
πŸ‘︎ 855
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πŸ‘€︎ u/R4yvex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
This speaks volumes!
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haiderhtz
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
If oranges could talk, what language would they speak?

Mandarin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eidolonxero
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report

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