Soft count Puns

The first guy was named Jim and the second guy was named Joe. They were starving, and dying of thirst. They kept walking in one direction hoping that they would get out of the desert before they died. They had been lost a long time, and it wasn't looking good.

Then, in a stroke of good luck, they found an oasis. In the oasis there was plenty of water and trees growing. On the trees, was every kind of bacon imaginable. Crispy bacon, soft bacon, even Canadian bacon (even though it doesn't really count). Joe says, "I'm going to go eat some bacon."

So Joe goes and gets some bacon out of a low tree.

Just as he takes his first bite, a gremlin jumps out of the foliage, and stabs him in the back with a knife.

Joe is laying on the ground dying, and his friend Jim comes up to him. Joe says in a warning, "Jim run away. It's not safe here!"

"Why not?" Jim asked.

"This oasis isn't what it seems! It isn't a bacon tree, IT'S A HAM-BUSH!!!"

And he died.