SnackWell's Puns

Hey all. I work at a place that sells medieval and Renaissance themed clothing, weapons, and armour. We are beginning to sell snacks in the breakroom for employees (sans vending machine) and I want to call the "shop" something silly/ridiculous. Ye Olde Snack Shack just won't cut it, I want a good pun in there. Don't hesitate to use fantasy inspired ideas either. I wanted to go with The Dragon's Hoard, but would rather have something funny as well!

When my brother and I were little, we put out milk and cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeers on Christmas eve, and woke up on Christmas morning to find them mostly eaten. We were delighted at proof of our nighttime visitors.

The next year our dad told us he had gotten an inside tip from the north pole: that Santa actually liked ramen and beer, not milk and cookies (as other, less well informed, dads and kids had always thought).

For years, we dutifully cooked ramen, put it on a table by the fireplace with a cold beer on the side, and woke up to the ramen and beer having been consumed in the night.

I knew my dad wasn't fond of milk or cookies, but it wasn't until later that we connected the dots and found out the deal about Santa. My dad was the one who ate the Santa food once we went to bed, and he had secretly convinced us to prepare his ideal midnight snack for as long as we believed in Santa.

Friend asks for a snack

Me: "Well, help yourself to my snack draw"

Friend: "There's only wrappers"*

Me: "This is where I keep my Eminems"

Well, I could use a light snack.

We were walking and eating a quick pre-workout snack when she said "well I guess that nut goes to the birds then" because she dropped a cashew she was about to eat.

I looked at her and asked "so would you call that a cashew-alty?"

She rolled her eyes and kept while I had to stop from laughing to much.

Last summer, my girlfriend and I went camping. One of the days, we were having lunch by a river (a kind of a picnic sort of thing). Now, I talk a lot when I eat, so she finished eating waaaaay before I did. Once she was finished, she took to the water to cool off while I continued munching away.

Now, I guess she must have slipped or something, because all of a sudden I heard a cry and she was just gone. Washed away. I saw her head bob above the surface probably 20 yards downstream, and moving fast towards some rapids (probably 100-150 yards away). So I'm pretty panicked at this point, but she manages to grab onto a low-hanging branch (just like in a movie or something). She's coughing and sputtering and hollering for help, trying to keep a grip on the branch.

So, I set down my avocado I'd been snacking on and walked out into the water. "hurry! I can't hold on much longer," she's yelling. I kept walking towards her, but the bottom of the river was so muddy that it was probably pretty slow. She started to get angry with me "SWIM over here! Why are you walking? Please hurry!" She yelled, with great urgency. All in all, it took me probably 8 minutes to cover the 80 yards or so to get to her. After I rescued her, she was super mad for some reason. She was all "I almost died, why were you going so slow? Who does that? What's wrong with you?"

"Well," I said. "Good things are worth wading for."

We were watching tv and I was snacking on beef jerky.

Me: You know, beef jerky is actually a pretty healthy snack.

Sis: Huh, well don't you need to lower your sodium intake the rest of the day?

Me: Na

...after a minute or two...

Sis: ...oh god dammit!

We're both engineers btw, I'm MechE she's ChemE.

Context: In the kitchen making my daughter a snack. Me:"Do you want a milk shake, or just ice cream." Daughter: "Just ice cream" Me:"Do you want any milk in it?" Daughter: "No I said I don't want a milk shake." Me: "Well then I wont shake it...." Daughter "O.o -_- fine, just a little milk"

I take my daughter into target, and tell her if she is good, she can pick a snack.

Well, the first thing in there is the snack counter, and she says "I pick popcorn!"

I tell her "No, you pick regular corn, and then pop it".