Apparently badgers can't be choosers.
A plott hound
Me: "I honestly don't think I've ever seen one in my life; maybe I have but just didn't know."
Co-worker: "Really? I think I've seen quite a few."
Me: "Yeah. Oh, so they're big in the UK then..?"
Co-worker: "Not really, they're the same size all over the world usually."
cue awkward silence before he kills himself laughing...
After I thanked him, he said to me: "Don't vorry, just dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine"
I asked him, "Are you a vet?"
He answered, "Am I vet? I'm soaking"
He had heir support.
Because he was too far out, man
He used See-P-R
Itβs my retirement hedge fund.
Tree-P-R
It was whisky business.
With an heir-net...
Every single colonisable country in colonising range: βGod save (me from) the Queen!β
The coin was truly his life savings
Stop badgering me
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
Some might say it was his life savings.
My dad and i are Wisconsin Badger fans and I swear every time UW plays Ohio State my dad says this joke about their coach: "Urban Meyer...did you know his brother, Rural Meyer?"
The sunset provision.
I said "bro, sure!"
Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.
After he climbed out he said, "Here is ze dog, dry him off and he vill be fine." I said, "Are you a vet?" To which he replied, annoyed; "Vet? I'm fucking zoaking."
However, the mole couldn't reach them from the high trees and he struggled to climb them. Luckily, there was a tall giraffe who offered to help and got the oranges down for the mole.
The mole would go up to the giraffe every morning and ask him for some oranges. The giraffe would happily oblige but little by little he would get more irritated. One day, the giraffe finally got mad and told the mole to see the badger who could make a tool to help him get the oranges down from the tree.
The mole trundled over to the badger and asked him to make him a tool to help with the orange problem. The badger happily agreed to help and went into his shed. For a few days after: cutting, grinding and sawing could be heard coming from his shed when he finally emerged with a 4-pointed tool. He then proceeded to demonstrate the 4-point tool by sticking it into an orange and allowing the juice from which to drain down the arm of the tool.
The mole was extremely happy and excited by his new magnificent 4-point tool and showed everyone it's amazing capabilities. After a while, however, he realised he had shown it to pretty much everyone. Then he remembered the black cat resting under the oak tree. So he walked over to the tree and tried to show the black cat the 4-point tool. The cat said he couldn't see it properly and asked the mole to come closer. The mole took a few steps forward. Again, the black cat requested the mole to come closer and the mole cautiously stepped closer. Finally the black cat lunged forward and ate the 4-point tool.
The mole couldn't believe it and exclaimed, "Why did you do that?"
To which the black cat replied, "Oh haven't you heard? I am a 4-point tool eater Jaguar!"
But I still donβt talk to her
my hedge fund manager hates reddit.
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
Because he was too far out, man
A badger of honor.
I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
We ask all the βstraight Aβ students to back off... just a little.
I saw a dead animal at the side of the road but I couldn't tell quite what it was because it looked like a brown bushy dog. So, I asked my mum "what was that" and she told me that it was a badger.
After that she then told me "I was gonna say it's dead". Should've really followed through with the joke.
Because he was too Far Out, Man π€
He was too far out, man.
He was far out man!
He said, βvet? Iβm fucking soakingβ
Because he was too far out man.
He was too far out man!
He was too faarrr out, man!
