It's hand wash only
I hope, I don't get arrested for money laundering.
Because he was not a Germ man. He was Austrian.
Rubbing his hands
A hand sani-teaser....
....
....
Because you think you're going to get your hand sanitized, but you don't, cause it's empty, so it's teasing you...
Yeah?
Yeah?
aww....
.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize
he seems to have made a clean getaway
Bet he is rubbing his hands right now.
They’re always rubbing it in.
Looking for good clean fun!
Christmas is Noel, while hand sanitizer is Purell.
But I just can’t get my hands on it....
Trust me I have seen some shit.
Dirty bastards
...would be revolting.
- If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?
- Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you happy to be within 6 ft of me?
- Can't spell virus without U and I.
- Do you need toilet paper cuz I can be your Prince Charmin.
- I saw you checking me out from across the bar, stay there.
- Hey Baby! Can I ship you a drink?
- Can't spell quarantine without U R A Q T.
credit: some facebook post i saw.
The milk becomes safe to drink once it goes past-ur-eyes.
Han sanitizer
Because no one wanted to hear someone talk shit on stage. (OC)
.. He's Dr Hans Sanitizer.
Not only do you take your boss's shit, you have to deal with the entire city's.
They used Han sanitizer.
well, I finally lost it... I was just in a store and saw a man whose cart was FULL to the brim with hand sanitizers, toilet paper, soaps... You know everything that people desperately need right now!!! I called him a greedy bastard, and told him he should be freaking ashamed of himself! He said " are you done? Cuz I really need to get back to stocking the shells now"
We were talking about "Grey's Anatomy"
Her: "It's like a soap opera, but it's a medical drama also."
Me: "So it's more like a hand-sanitizer opera?"
My dad keeps some hand sanitizer on-hand next to him in his car. As my dad was driving, I saw that there was a bit of hand sanitizer that had spilled onto his cup holder.
Me: Hey dad, did you spill purell?
Dad: P-U-R-E-L-L.
Me: What?
Dad: You asked me if I spelled purell, but I didn't so now I did!
Me: groans Okay Dad, did you spill purell?? [Emphasized pronunciation of word]
Dad No I didn't spill purell... because that's germ-x.
Me: groaning intensifies
Our assignment was to swab each of our left hands and then use one of four handwashing protocols, (i.e., hand sanitizer, antibacterial soap, etc.) and come back two days later to observe the difference on Petri plates. So we come back and we're all looking at each other's plates and a girl asks me, "Can I see your hands? Where are they?" to which I responded, "They're right here at the ends of my arms!" and held up my hands. The entire group let out a sigh and rolled their eyes.
Slow start:
So I was combining two hand sanitizer bottles while waiting on some computer function to complete, one was a scented and dyed blue while the other was regular clear handbleach. In the end I have a bottle of half clear half blue.
So I make wide panic eyes, hold up the bottle for my coworker to see and tell him "Oh shit, %coworker℅ I really blew it this time"
3/4 techs approve this dadjoke
Must be rubbing his hands together right now.
For good clean fun.
I bet the guy who invented hand sanitizer is rubbing his hands together
