In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.

Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnakehoundXE
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What is a downside of eating a clock?

Its time consuming. (from The Last of Us II)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuhiyeko_aalu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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Did you know that having too much sex causes memory loss?

Or at least that what page 137 figure II part B of my middle school science textbook said.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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A drummer and her husband just had triplets. Their names?

Anna I. Anna II. Anna I, II, III.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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What’s a pirates favorite Roman numeral?

II

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stepagbay
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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Got dad joked by Boyz ii Men while I was proposing to my girlfriend last night.

So last night, i proposed to my girlfriend of 7 years. We went to go watch Boyz ii Men out here in Las Vegas. I had purchased the meet and greet package to which the entire show staff and Boyz ii Men were completely aware about what I was about to do.

After I had popped the question, there was silence, Wanya turns over to my girlfriend, and says, "You can say, he's On Bended Knee." I heard my girlfriend silently groan under her breath, before she said YES!

I'm notorious for puns in our relationship, so after he came through with that punchline, she knew that they were in on it too. What an honorable night for a dadjoke!

Photos of the moment here!

http://imgur.com/a/pIO0h

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/calix_xto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2014
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ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history.

You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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The leader of the boat walked up to one of the officers.

He said, 'I've got an important job for you. What I need, is for you to find out what two is in roman numerals.'

'II, Captain!' the officer replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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A lot of people these days don't seem to understand Roman numerals,

but i for one, ii for two

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HowBizzare
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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Why do people in Skyrim use dragons for measurement?

Because they have scales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrishaCZ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2015
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Dad got my family with this one

As we're driving, we see a Boyz II Men billboard and my mom says something about it. In response, my dad says, "yeah, they used to be called Boys to Men, but now it looks like they're Boys eleven Men."

I was the only one who laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ngabear
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2015
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Overwatch on Twitter with the knee slapper
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ujaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2016
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My Dad, a long time ago

I was helping my Dad unload a trailer at a house he had just bought. Guy from across the street came over and was doing a bunch of random talking. At some point he said he had been in World War II. My Dad said "That's odd. I was in World War II and I don't remember seeing you there."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobT21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
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Hitler's Doughnut, Original joke

One day during the middle of World War II Hitler woke up craving a doughnut. He called for one of his soldiers to go retrieve him one. The soldier left before realizing Hitler never told him what kind of doughnut. Not wanting to go back and ask and be punished for taking too long the soldier got a jelly filled and went back. Upon seeing the doughnut, Hitler withdrew his pistol and shot the soldier square in the chest then called in his guards to clean up the body, and sent another soldier off to get a doughnut. Not wanting to be shot like his predecessor, the second soldier got a dozen in a variety and went back. Hitler looked over the box and again withdrew his pistol and shot the soldier. He called in a third soldier and sent him to complete the job the other two had failed. Soon enough, the third soldier had made it there and back. He timidly walked Into Hitlers room and presented him a single doughnut. Hitler looked at it and said "Finally, white powdered!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oriyagi
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2014
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At the end of every class, we get this Professor Joke

My Property II Professor is about 80 years old. Class ends at 7:30. Clock turns to 7:30 and we start packing up. He announces: "I'm going to let you out 45 minutes early today, we'll make it up next time."

He's done this every class now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BruinScott
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
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In ancient Rome there were four different types of poison...

Poisons I, II, and III were deadly...

Poison IV just made you itchy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hicks4183
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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