This might be a bit of a stretch because I can't recall the author, title or even really the plot! What I do remember is:

- The cover reminded me of Wind in the Willows and Beatrix Potter as a kid due to font, white border around cover image and illustration style. Font was similar to Tiimes New Roman in all capitals.
- Feature image was of a rocky cliff face or a mountain? Very dark and gray..

-It was a small book, very wordy, approximately A5..
- I'm fairly certain the protaganist was a rodent, like a mouse or a squirrel.. Maybe a hedgehog?

If any one has any ideas, I'd be super grateful! It was a book I found at my grandmother's house one day but could never find again. When she passed many years later I hunted for it but to no avail! ):

https://youtu.be/cYd5N5pYuwc

Previous Sections

Gourmet Research Club:

• Kurodate Haruna

Problem Solver 68:

• Rikuhachima Aru
• Asagi Mutsuki
• Igusa Haruka
• Onikata Kayoko

Prefect Team:

• Sorasaki Hina
• Hinomia Chinatsu
• Shiromi Iori

Justice Committee

• Kensaki Tsurugi
• Shizuyama Mashiro

Hyakkiyako Academy

• Kuda Izuna (Ninjustu Research Club)

Game Development Department

• Hanaoka Yuzu
• Mamoi and Midori Saiba
• [Alice/Aris Tendou](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlueArchive/comments/ru3bs8/stu

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

- Blight Man II -

The ending to https://www.reddit.com/r/WouldYouRather/comments/s2hzhu/pick_a_path_listen_to_this_scenario_in_the_hopes/

Here are your results. You can read them all, or only the one you picked. I marked them for you to more easily find your choice (for those tldc, I’ll post the short form results at the very bottom):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If you went left down the muddy slope to the car, here’s how that plays out.]

You slide down the slope. It’s much faster then you anticipated due to it raining just a few days ago. Making the mud wet and slick. Slamming into the soft moss below. A lucky break at last, but will that luck hold? You flee towards the car when Phil winds up to throw his branch as it were a spear. It hurtles through the air.

In a hurry, you don’t notice a patch of mud slipping. As Phil’s branch knicks your left arm drawing blood. Phil lets out a blood-curdling roar. No time to worry about being wounded now. You hurry towards the car. Reaching for the door handle, finding it open. The keys are still in the ignition. You waste no time starting the car.

‘This is too good to be true.’ You think to yourself. The ground trembles. You look over to see Phil slam his fist through the car door. Tearing it off. As you slam the pedal down to the floor, Phil fails to grab hold of you. As you speed away.

In the back, a bottle drops from the back seat. As you realize the air inside the car is thick with the smell of alcohol. A man drowsily awakes.

“Who...are you?!” He asks. Barely able to keep his head up.

You make something up. “I’m uh...your designated driver sir. Now go back to sleep.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If you decided on the middle path across the damaged bridge, this is how that plays out.]

Hurrying across the bridge, your foot breaks through a plank. Forcing you to grab hold of the rope as your feet dangle over the void. You look back at Phil to see him staring at you from the other end. It becomes clear to you, he is even more wary of the bridge then you are. Knowing you have the advantage, you get your feet back on the nearest plank. Continuing down the bridge. Leaping over a small g

Do your worst!

###Slui-Eett, South-Western Makhdieqh

Üthnish first saw it from five miles away.

Üthnish is a corporal in the Kuthsuon Republican Army (K'ütshuonnash’ Awīrnrieülöödash’ Lölgier, KAL), and he was good at his job. Responsible, loyal and prompt, he liked what he did and was one of those lucky enough to enjoy military service. That was why he was offered this job in the first place, and why he so readily accepted. Due to an absence of war, this was the closest thing to a tour of duty the Army had to offer.

The jeep he was in had picked him up alongside a K’ema sergeant, by the name of Q’aq’a, heading to the same post. It travelled the long and winding road down the coast towards their destination - a watchtower, gazing over a large wall.

“It might seem like an easy posting, but it is important to be vigilant,” Q’aq’a reminded Üthnish. “We’re keeping people out for their own safety, and we’re keeping tabs on what’s inside. If you’re lucky, nothing too bad will happen. But you’ll probably have to go in…”

Üthnish nodded. He noticed Q’aq’a’s feathers stand slightly higher on that last point. The sergeant glanced at him, straightened himself, then went back to looking out the window.

25 minutes later, they were at the Watchtower. A woman emerged from the tower - a Kutshuon, like Üthnish. She saluted Q’aq’a.

“Corporal Řüiesü, this is your colleague and fellow Corporal Nomkhü Khreīshün.”

She extended her hand, which Üthnish took in a cordial handshake. “Üthnish Řüiesü. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise,” came the reply. Nomkhü turned to Q’aq’a. “Sergeant Faseyolaa, there’s nothing much to report. A few mirages, some tourists attempting to break in, nothing more, sir.”

“That’s good, at least. Come on, Corporal, lets show you the sights.”

Q’aq’a gave Üthnish a quick tour of the watchtower - the sleeping quarters, the mess, the radio room - before getting to the top. Seated by a window was a Bub’u man, a rifle slung over his shoulder and binoculars hanging around his neck. He was sitting with his feet on the windowsill. He glanced over, and raised a cup of coffee in greeting.

“Morning, sir. Nice to have you back!”

“Corporal, this is Corporal Társh N’áyǎqqkāz’. Nomkhü, if you’d be so kind, fetch me and Corporal Řüiesü some coffee as well. We’ll join Társh on the watch for now. After that, I hereby relieve you from the rest of your watch.”

On the other side of the window was a wasteland. On one side of the wall, there was a typical Makhdieqhi co

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

Pilot on me!!

[Chapter 1] ; [Previous Chapter] ; [Wiki + Discord]

A/N: Hey everybody! In case you missed it, the teased crossover has been released. Even if you've never read "We need a Deathworlder!", I would say it is worth the read anyway. Maybe it will even introduce you to a story you will love. I know I do. If you are interested, check it out here.

As always, for now I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 23

James looked across the giant table in front of him. An enormous tablecloth covered it as an immaculate plain of pure white, laying there like an undisturbed layer of fresh snow.

A laughably high chair, worthy of a diving board, had been brought for him so he could even reach up to the colossal plate of the Leader-Supreme’s dinner table. It was the first time in a long while that he was sitting in a chair to eat, yet it brought him no comfort. Apparently, this high society meeting considered itself too good to have people sitting on the tables like it was custom in the entire rest of the Galactic Community.

The room did its best to reinforce that notion, as there was no sign of the blank walls of cold metal so characteristic for any space bound vessel anywhere. Every square centimeter of the room was clad in some form of dark wood or colorful cloth, giving the spacious room an elegant yet almost antiquated feeling.

Of course, just as was the case with the Matriarch’s office building, the red carpet was not missing here either. The same was the case for various statues, although these examples seemed to show actual works of art instead of pompous depictions of coreworlders.

The decoration also continued onto the tables, as huge, elaborately woven cubes made thick, rattan like material adorned each table. Some held vases or pots with flowers within them, others candleholders. Apparently, no decoration could go without a woven container.

As his eyes wandered across the table once more, they inevitably landed right in front of him. The shinily polished cutlery that had already been placed for him when he arrived was different from the ones he was used on earth. It consisted only of a fork and a spoon. The fork was long and thin,

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.