My barista didn’t filter my coffee right. I issued her a restraining order.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.

Beanstalked is a serious matter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VateauxII
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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My wife just gave me a restraining order..

Who knew there was an incorrect way to use a colander....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away but so does a restraining order

I tried okay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zi657
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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I wanted to write a joke about restraining orders.

This is as close as I could get though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asbestos_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Why did the milk get a restraining order against the grocer?

It said he was a stocker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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I took a shit today

The dude who i took it from got a restraining order

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bllop-a-doop
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I draw puns and make friends guess them. Thought r/puns might like them too. Post your guess in the comments! imgur.com/QJ4Cykf
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiggidytom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
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Ted's wife was a horrible cook. She served mashed potatoes that were so runny, that his whole plate resembled soup. Even though she insisted that she drained the pasta, her spaghetti was so watery that the sauce ran off the plate. Ted had no choice...

...he was forced to take out a restraining order.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My brother has the heart of a lion

And a restraining order from a zoo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AngryAggron22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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I tried to keep following my dreams.

Unfortunately, my dreams filed a restraining order last night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
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My girlfriend really got me with this one.

A restraining order.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
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My pasta was kinda wet and drippy at the restaurant...

...so i asked the waitress for a restraining order.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/from_dust
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2015
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